Women discuss their experiences and opinions on the topic of sex after birth.
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Rachel Royce: Well, sex after you have had a baby. I mean my husband's solution was just to go off and have it with somebody else; it was living in a sad story. I suppose - it does happen, doesn't it. A lot of men, I think go off their wives when they are pregnant and they just don't find the whole thing attractive and-- Cherly Baker: At some point some thinks it's wonderful and others they find it quite-- Rachel Royce: Frightening! Cherly Baker: Yeah. Rachel Royce: As soon as they are there at the birth, I kind of wish my husband hadn't been there at the birth because I think the whole scene, he found it so traumatic. He said it was a like scene from platoon -- to go anywhere near me. Mara Lee: So you think that the birth scene changed his attitude to you as a sexual being. Rachel Royce: -- as a sexual being anymore. It was certainly this you know, mother who was about to explode and leak blood every where. It must have been must very traumatic for him. Ingrid Tarrant: You know it's like I suppose, it's like when they see you breasting feeding, somebody is like, you know, your tits are kind of like a sexual asset and everything and suddenly that is sort of they are milk bottles. They sort of see it different -- So what's the answer then? Should slight say don't watch the birth and keep it all a mystery? Cherly Baker: We kind of now expect them to be there. And perhaps they should be, it's their options if they don't want to. But then you see - if my husband hadn't been there, I'd have been upset, I'd have felt that he didn't want to be there which is true, he wouldn't have. Ingrid Tarrant: Be there but don't look! Mara Lee: Yeah! I mean, I'll guess what? Yeah the thing is, that the scene is, you know, if you end up you can steer up some of the episiotomies. Ingrid Tarrant: Exactly and it was a baby coming out, you know covered in blood and the mucous and all the rest, I mean even that's probably a little bit sort of scary and if you haven't seen it kind of arrive -- Mara Lee: And I think they are a bit daunted. I mean it is that old thing too, if it gets that big, is it going to -- Ingrid Tarrant: How can I possibly compete? Mara Lee: There maybe that I think there is some truth in that as well. I mean -- Rachel Royce: They worry; I mean I think, I would've worried about how is this would feel afterwards as well. Cherly Baker: Well apart from that, yes, apart from how they felt, I just didn't want to have sex afterwards. Ingrid Tarrant: When they come out, when you are lying there in some hospital, you have got all sort of stitches, and he says, now have you consider contraception. Yeah, just not doing it! Isn't it so untimely though? Rachel Royce: I think that is the danger though isn't it because we had our two babies very close together and we didn't mean to but I think the thing is when you start having sex again, it's such a surprise, you forget about contraception. Cherly Baker: I was terrified. I was scared. I am sure there a lot of women who are afraid to have sex. Mara Lee: Yeah I was very nervous because I had stitches as lots of women do and you are always worried that something is going to, pop or break or whatever that, I mean I think what did they say, six weeks after you had your baby you can. I remember we tried it, but this went, forget it, this isn't I think it's all too -- Rachel Royce: Also you are tired as well, aren't you? Mara Lee: That is it, if you had a choice, sleep or sex, what would you choose? Ingrid Tarrant: It's always like your body was invaded by this fat growing baby. You just want your body to yourself almost, don't you? it's like no, nothing and no poking around -- but you know I think there might be a difference as well between men and women who have, the pregnancy is an unintentional one and then it's the fear that sort of like we didn't want that one, we can't do it again in case we have another accident. And I think that most of it affects men and women, if the men didn't wanted a