Do you want to break free? Co-authors of “Everything you always wanted to know about ex” join Better to talk about the best way to deal with your ex, whether it is a spouse, boyfriend, or friend-these two have some advice for you.
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Audra Lowe: Well, how is your relationship with your ex a lot of people have at least one ex in their lives it could be ex-spouse, an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend or even an and ex-friend but a lot of people don't really know how to deal with the relationship afterwards. Heather Belle and Michelle Flordaliso are coauthors of everything that you ever wanted to know about your ex and they're both here in the studio to help us unlock the handcuffs and break free from our past literally sometimes you have to break free right. Welcome to the show ladies and you guys have a book out that is talking about your ex have to come up with this idea, where to get the information to do something like this. Heather Belle: Well Michelle and I are both therapist so we heard about a lot and we have a lot of personal experience, I have more ex than I probably should and I'm a divorced mother of four or any sort of was also seeing a man who had kind of a harem of exes in his life that we're making these sort of insecure and a little like off my game. And I just thought my god like this is everywhere. Audra Lowe: Right it sounds like the book is a lot about you know how to figure out yourself after you broken up with someone, right. Not so much about your ex but how do you deal with moving on right. Michelle Flordaliso: Yeah it's, it's for after the break up not when you're in the throes of being upset and wondering what went wrong, its for the every day, day in day out interactions with these people. Do you friends then on Facebook, do you chat with them, do still get together for coffee and what are the ramifications of doing that. Audra Lowe: And I know you guys differ on this particular question but can you really be friends with your ex. Who said yes, who say no? Michelle Flordaliso: I would say yes. Heather Belle: And I say no. Audra Lowe: And why is that. Michelle Flordaliso: And then we've sort of switch though, I've become more conservative and she's become a little while liberals in the process writing the book. So we really found at a meeting ground don’t you think. Heather Belle: I think you mean, I find that its is impossible when Michelle and I talked about this to go from intimate partners to friends, I mean. How many of your friends have you actually been intimate with, if you really think about it? And probably none, so it just makes complicated and so I think define it as that relationship as it is just naïve and ends up creating a lot havoc. Audra Lowe: And speaking of havoc you guys thought about having sex with your ex. Did you say it's a big no, no question. Why is that make things even more complicated? Michelle Flordaliso: Yeah, and Nicky just do it and we say just don’t that’s wouldn’t lead to good thing. Audra Lowe: Okay, all right you also have some signs there that 10 signs that you're not just friends. And one of them as if he still pushes your buttons meaning. Heather Belle: Meaning he just drives you insane you want to run him over with a car that you know the first thing you hear when he calls is like you know I want scream and scratch your eyes out or— Michelle Flordaliso: You're still jealous or I mean it usually means that there's something unresolved if they're still triggering a big emotional reaction out of you. Audra Lowe: And you even mention if you hide your contact that you have with him that like an embarrassing that you don't want to have other people to see. Michelle Flordaliso: Yeah, like you don’t want your friends and to know how often you tweet or text or email. Audra Lowe: Okay. Heather Belle: A lot of people sort of have interactions that they're not really even acknowledging do you know what I mean, they have all these exes in their life and they're not even sort of conscious of the fact that they're, holding onto the passed. In other sort of tethered to all the stuff and then when you're trying to meet somebody new or moved forward you can’t. Audra Lowe: And still holding on right. Heather Belle:

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