What if they ask for more time or suggest counseling?
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Host: What if they ask for more time or suggest counseling? Toni Coleman: If your heart’s truly not into it, if you have truly made up your mind and this is something that you are absolutely sure that you want, then I would say that agreeing to go to counseling is just another way of letting them down easily. It holds out false hope and there is something dishonest about it. You are thinking, I am going to make this easy or for them when in fact, you are causing them more hurt or pain because they are going to be putting a great deal of energy and effort and resources into trying to fix something you’ve already decided it can't be fixed. That being said if you decide that, you are really not sure if perhaps there was an issue that you never knew quite how to bring up or you tried to bring up and you feel like the other person just didn't respond or didn't hear you and counseling could help, and this is someone who you are having a difficult time saying goodbye to, then that's a great opportunity. I think what ends up happening too often is folks wait until it's too late and then the other person suggest counseling. So I always tell people if you are having problems in a relationship bring it up earlier and then you would never get to that point.