I like the idea of seeing my wife with another woman, or maybe even a girl-girl threesome, but I'm not sure if I can handle seeing her have sex with another man. Are my fears normal?
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Jennifer: And this question is from Rick in London. Dear Dan and Jennifer, I had fallen deeply in love with the woman of my dreams who also happens to be bisexual and an experienced swinger. Dan: Ah!, so a woman of most every guys dream. Jennifer: I myself had fantasized about such things I have a little experience. I’m confused by my emotions of seeing my lady with another man. Although I am not ‘bi,’ I am also willing to experiment with another male for her and it is a funny thing that these seems to cause less stress than seeing her with another man. Dan: Interesting. Jennifer: I have no fear of sharing another woman with her so why should sharing another man with her cause such worry? But it is in the past then why should it matter now? Is this a common fear for virgin male swingers like myself? Dan: And what kind of question is that? It is scary virgin male swinger’s strikes again? Jennifer: It sounds to me like he wants to try it? Dan: Yes, it sounds like he really want it, is thinking it through? Oh boy, she is more experienced; she is on the swinging thing, she is bi. Jennifer: Very often with bisexuality? Dan: Yes. Well sure, the past doesn’t matter, but it does. The past has a lot of hind, so what is to come. Jennifer: Yes, I can definitely. Dan: Yes, she may want it to do it again. Jennifer: Yes, and it sounds like you are willing to do it. So, I mean the fear that you are experiencing are very normal, okay? Everyone goes through those fears of, well that sounds like fun, but what about if I freak out and get seemly jealous at the last minute or something, you know? So, just recognize that, especially for guys, there is this hard wire thing of ownership and jealousy, and she is my possession, and I am not going to share her with a man. It is a little bit hypocritical, but it is what it is. Either, there’s very few men out there who would not share their woman with another woman. Dan: For a while anyway. Jennifer: For a while anyway, yes. But what most men don’t realize is that she could be just as likely to run off with another woman as another man. So, it doesn’t really make a difference. Dan: It happens so hot. Jennifer: So, you know recognize that this are very common insecurities and you just have to talk to each other and talk through them and be honest about what are you feelings with her. Dan: Yes. If your relationship is strong enough, then it could be fun. So, try it and talk about it. Talk about all your feelings, if you feel a little bit jealous, if you feel a little bit of this, a little bit of that, whatever. Talk, talk, talk—beginning, during, after whatever. What you holdback—festers and talk about it later.

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