1. What it feels like to be completely terrified and excited at the same time.
2. Morning sickness that lasts. All. Damn. Day.
3. That pantiliners aren’t just for periods.
4. That sometimes you get diaper rash even when you don’t wear diapers.
5. Mucus plugs. ‘Nuff said.
6. What Dolly Parton must feel like.
7. Cankles that engulf your entire leg.
8. How to waddle like a penguin.
9. The awesomeness that is the ability to grow a freakin’ human being.
10. Willing the worst pain of your life to come. SOON.
11. How you can be hot when there is ice dripping from the air conditioner.
12. What it is like to have to pee every 15 minutes. All. Night. Long.
13. Crying because the fast food worker got your order wrong.
14. The urge to punch complete strangers in the neck when they comment on how big you are.
15. The need to organize. ALL THE THINGS.
16. The first time you feel the life growing inside of you move.
17. How to trim the hedges when you can no longer see them…
18. How Jabba the Hutt really feels.
19. The importance of fiber.
20. When a baby does a flip off your cervix and lands on your bladder.
21. That you plan every trip out of the house around access to clean restrooms.
22. What it feels like to be punched in the stomach from the inside.
23. Getting excited when you get diarrhea because it means the baby might be coming soon.
24. What it’s like to pee a little when you cough. Or sneeze. Or breathe.
25. The reason ASPCA commercials make you cry.
26. What that dude in the movie Alien felt like.
27. Sleeping in a fortress of pillows.
28. Why you put dirty dishes in the cupboard and mayonnaise in the dishwasher.
29. Loving someone deeply before you even meet them.
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