Pregnancy is full of do’s and don’ts. Do get enough folic acid. Don’t do drugs. Do see your doctor regularly. Don’t take up taekwondo. Here are a few more to help you in your long, 9-month journey to motherhood.
Stressing out about everything pregnancy and baby-related will not help — at all. Don’t sweat the small stuff, because there will be LOTS of small stuff. Try to relax during pregnancy. Take a chill pill and try to enjoy the ride and pampering of pregnancy.
DON’T Search Every Symptom Online
Trust me, Googling your pregnancy symptoms never ends well. If you are concerned, call your OB-GYN, not Dr. Internet. The latter is a paranoid medical practitioner that will fill your head with all kinds of scary scenarios, like cancer, premature birth, and hemorrhoids.
DO Try New Things
Pregnancy should be a positive and happy time. Take these nine months to explore life a bit before there’s more than just you in the world. Read books, start a hobby, take up pole dancing. On second thought, maybe skip the pole dancing.
DON’T Heed Everyone and Their Mother’s Advice
Listen to your OB-GYN and maybe even your mother — sometimes. But the lady at the cash register who only has a few teeth left? Feel free to let her advice about giving your baby whiskey in a bottle when they’re teething slide.
Get a pedicure, massage, blowout, etc. Now is the time in your life for “me time,” because once the baby arrives, nothing will be about you anymore. At least not for the next 18 years or so.
DON’T Eat for Two
The occasional indulgence is okay, but eating enough to satisfy two full-grown men is not. You’re going to waddle enough by the end of this pregnancy, no need to poke the bear by eating a full cheesecake — every day.
Dear lord, sleep. As much as humanly possible. Nap. Sleep in late. Basically hibernate. Not because you will never sleep again once the baby comes, but because sleep is wonderful and lord knows you’re tired.
DON’T Smoke (or Make Other Obviously Poor Decisions)
Come on, it's 2015. Do you really need to be told this or consult the Internet to see if it’s really that bad for the baby? Seriously: Don’t smoke when you’re pregnant. Unless it’s a ham. Mmm … ham.
DO Be Selfish
Want the last piece of cake? Take it. Need more leg room? Ask for it. People around you think you are a precious pregnant flower right now. Plus, your increased size and slight case of crazy eyes makes everyone a little scared of you. Take advantage of it!
DON’T Try to Keep Up
Pregnant women often try to act like things aren’t going to change when they become a mom, so they try to keep up with their non-parent friends while pregnant. Don’t do this! Feel free to skip out on a late night dinner and drink session for an early bedtime post-Netflix binge session. That’s cool too.