1. You can't decide which hurts more: Getting on the toilet or getting off...

getting off the toilet

2. You need a forklift to get in or out of a car.


3. Even though you think you're walking normally through the airport, you're probably not if a security guard offers you a wheelchair.


4. When someone wonders why you want one of those picker-upper appliance thingys, tell them it's to brush the cobwebs off the ceiling.


5. The next time you absently wrap your leg around the leg of a chair or hook it over a rung on a ladder, you’ll quickly remember why you shouldn't.

wrapping leg on rung of ladder

6. Turning over in bed requires a law of physics no one has discovered yet.

turning over in bed

7. You'll learn the hand-over-hand technique for climbing up the refrigerator when you can't get up off the kitchen floor.

hand over hand technique

8. When you put your pants on backwards, you're tempted to leave them that way.

putting pants on backwards

9. Your absolute favorite bathroom accessory is that big shiny grab-bar.

shiny grab bar

10. Your absolute least favorite bathroom accessory is that adorable little throw rug that matches the shower curtain. It’s evil.

bathroom throw rug

11. When your knee buckles, it's perfectly acceptable to swear.

swearing when your knee buckles

12. Allowing 5 or 10 extra minutes to do anything that requires movement.

allowing more time to move

13. One, two, buckle my shoe. PLEASE...

buckle your shoe

14. You wonder if salon pedicures are covered by insurance. They should be.

salon pedicures

15. You know it’s okay to slow down. You're not in a hurry.

not in a hurry

16. If you look good in shorts, keep wearing them. You don't need to cover up OA.

wearing shorts

17. When someone asks what you want for your birthday, you answer “A case of Tylenol.”

case of tylenol

18. Curbs and stairs are projects from the devil's workshop. Ramps, escalators, and elevators were invented by angels.

stairs versus elevators

19. You need to stretch your legs every 15 minutes, even during a concert when it will annoy everyone around you.

stretching your legs every 15 minutes

20. Trying to reach all the stuff in the top cupboard is bad enough, but trying to reach the bottom cupboard, shelf, or drawer requires deep knee bends. Are you kidding?

deep knee bends

21. Eau de Ben-Gay. Nobody wears it just for the smell of it.

smell of ben-gay

22. You love the pool and the hot tub. Until you try to get out.

getting out of the pool

23. You walk like Charlie Chaplin.

charlie chaplin walk

24. You have to say “bye-bye” to all those gorgeous shoes in your closet. But you get to keep the matching purses!!

say bye to shoes

25. Someone asks what that thing in the microwave is and you tell them it's the hot pad for your knee. And don't eat the bag of frozen peas… that’s the icepack for your knee.

hot pads and icepacks

26. Kids keep wanting to stick their finger in the hole of your neoprene knee brace.

neoprene knee brace

27. Getting dressed is an Olympic sport. As is getting undressed.

getting dressed is an Olympic sport

28. You dream about kicking a football or doing the jitterbug.

dream of kicking a football

29. You don't complain, but you sigh a lot.