Joan Rivers

Love her or hate her, Joan Rivers has been nothing but utterly herself since she launched into show biz in the ’60s. The comedienne who cracked us up for all those years on the red carpet passed away on September 4, 2014 at the age of 81. Perhaps even more notable than her catty sense of humor or preference for plastic surgery was her admirable ability to laugh at herself. We’ve hand-picked our favorite health-based Joan quotes to commemorate the Queen of Mean and remind you that laughter goes a long way in maintaining a healthy life.

On Fitness

"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it."

"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor."

"I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them." 

On Dieting

"Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you."

On Personal Hygiene

"Never floss with a stranger."

On Sex

"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was ‘The man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years, my husband and I slept in bunk beds."

"My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on."

On Motherhood

"My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.”

"Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.’"

On the Importance of Laughter

"Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough."

"I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny."

*All quotes retrieved from:

Joan Rivers photo credit: David Shankbone/Wikimedia