Living With Crohn's: A First Date

The dating experience is laced with emotion, let alone the additional worry about how your Crohn's disease might affect the event. This is true whether it's your first time out with the person or the 15th. The frequent need to use the bathroom, the possibility of cramping, and fears about what you'll be able to eat or drink can put you in a tailspin even before the date begins. Calm down. Take the precautions you know will help you and have fun.

Scope the Territory

If you're planning the date, make sure you know where the bathrooms are located, whether at a restaurant, movie theater, art gallery, or whatever. You can ask for a restaurant table closer to the restrooms ahead of time. Check out the menu for enough options for you. If you aren't the date planner, its reasonable to ask where you'll be going or what you'll be doing— that way you can scope out logistics if need be. You can always handle this in a warm, "I want to make sure I wear the right thing" sort of style. One woman says she makes sure the locale is a "me-friendly" place.

Keep Your Routine

Don't make a bunch of changes to your daily regimen in anticipation of the date, whether it's medication, food, or exercise. The best thing you can do is maintain your regular schedule. Adjustments may need to be made if the date is particularly late in the evening and involves dinner. Then you may need to squeeze in a nap or a small meal/snack prior.

Go Slow

If you're eating out, take your time. Chewing your food well is important enough with Crohn's let alone when you'll likely be nervous with someone new— or someone you think you really care about. Certainly, your clever and humorous quips along with your rapt listening skills will prevent you from wolfing down your meal. The leisurely pace can also forestall the sudden need to go the bathroom or even pass gas.

Whether to tell

There is always a chance that the person you are dating for the first time was already a friend— and may know about your condition. That would likely make the experience easier on you. Chances are, though, that they don't know much about you and less about Crohn's. There are no hard and fast rules. You have to trust your gut. But it's generally a good idea on a first date not to launch into your sad story, whether it's about your ex-love or about your disease. One South Carolinian dated her husband-to-be for several months before she told him. "If the person cannot handle the disease they are not right for you," she says.