How to Be More Manly…In Bed
Don't let bedroom problems be a source of stress for you.
Think You’re Alone? Think Again
From Viagra commercials to spam emails, comedy routines to American Pie, male sexuality is all around us. At times, it can be hard to find the facts amidst the static.
The truth is, 31 percent of men report having experienced some type of sexual dysfunction. Ejaculatory problems, erectile dysfunction, and inhibited desire, and more can wreak havoc on relationships—but they don’t have to.
Click through the slideshow to learn more about male sexual health, and simple ways to be more manly in bed.
Bedroom Bummer: Inhibited Sexual Desire
Your partner is in the mood, but you aren’t. We’ve all been there. However, if you rarely have an interest in sex, you may be suffering from inhibited sexual desire, or low libido.
If you have low libido, you won’t initiate sex, and you’ll avoid your partner’s advances. Low libido can be caused by a number of physical, psychological, and emotional factors, from low testosterone to anxiety or poor communication.
Fixes for a Low Libido
If you’re experiencing low libido, visit your doctor. They’ll take a patient history, do a physical exam, and perform lab tests to help determine whether illness, certain medications (such as SSRIs), low testosterone levels, insomnia, or other sexual problems are the cause.
If physical causes are ruled out, difficulties in your relationship may be leading to difficulties in bed. If a psychological or emotional condition such as depression, anxiety, or stress might be responsible, consider attending individual or couple’s therapy.
Bedroom Bummer: Premature Ejaculation
Premature ejaculation happens when you have an orgasm during sex earlier than you (or your partner) would like. Don’t worry: it’s more common than you think. According to the Mayo Clinic, as many as one in three men may experience premature ejaculation at some point in their lives.
Dr. John J. Kowalczyk, urologist at the St. Vincent Medical Center in LA, explains that premature ejaculation has no medical cause. In fact, it usually stems from psychological factors, such as anxiety and guilt.
Fixes for Premature Ejaculation
For DIY types, these methods can reduce the risk of premature ejaculation:
- Think about baseball: It may be cliché, but it works. Focusing your attention elsewhere will help you relax, delaying orgasm.
- Hands on, hands off: When you feel close to orgasm, stop stimulation for 30 seconds, then start again. Repeat this process as long as you want to delay orgasm.
- Put a cream on it: Apply local anesthetic to your penis. This will decrease stimulation, allowing you to last longer.
If these methods don’t work, your doctor can prescribe an antidepressant or SSRI, which can also do the trick.
Bedroom Bummer: Retrograde Ejaculation
Retrograde ejaculation occurs when semen travels back into the bladder instead of exiting through the urethra.
Although it may sound dangerous to your health, it’s not. In fact, Dr. Kowalczyk notes that “a person who has retrograde ejaculation will continue to have normal orgasm.” The only difference is that the semen travels in the opposite direction.
However, retrograde ejaculation can lead to infertility. For this reason, some seek treatment.
Fixes for Retrograde Ejaculation
Unlike premature ejaculation, retrograde ejaculation is caused by physical conditions, for example as a result of diabetes, certain medications, and surgery.
If a medication is the culprit, your doctor might advise you to stop taking the drug that could be causing the problem.
Prostate and urethra surgery can also cause retrograde ejaculation. There’s an 80 percent chance that you will retrograde ejaculation if you undergo prostate surgery. If this is the case, your doctor might prescribe you medication.
Bedroom Bummer: Erectile Dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction (ED) occurs when you cannot get or keep an erection firm enough for sexual intercourse. The National Institutes of Health (NIH) estimates that ED affects 30 million Americans.
Often, the cause of ED is physical. According to Dr. Kowalczyk, “70 percent of those [with erectile dysfunction] have a medical issue.” ED can indicate high blood pressure, diabetes, elevated cholesterol, and hardened arteries. These conditions interfere with blood flow, making it difficult to maintain an erection.
Although the occurrence of ED increases with age, erectile dysfunction isn’t an inevitable consequence of aging. In fact, it can be treated at any age.
Fixes for Erectile Dysfunction
If you are experiencing ED, it is important that you visit your doctor as soon as possible. Replace medications that you’re taking that might be causing ED. You can also try therapy to reduce anxiety or—as a last resort—getting an oral or locally injected drug to increase blood flow to the penis during sex.
Fortunately, there are also a number of simple lifestyle changes that can help prevent or alleviate ED, such as:
- quitting smoking
- cutting down on drinking
- losing weight
- exercising more
Sexual Dysfunction: It Will Get Better
Don’t let sexual dysfunctions get you down! As you can see, there are plenty of solutions to problems in the bedroom. With a little effort, knowledge, some help from your doctor, and support and some understanding from your partner, you can overcome sexual difficulties and be back to your sexy self STAT.