Ben Morrison blogs with an abundance of humor about Crohn's disease.See all posts »
Sympathy for the Hulk
Crohn's blogger Ben Morrison explains what 'hulking it out' entails.
Sometimes I have to push when I go to the bathroom. Like really push. Like push so hard my eyes bulge out of my sockets and all the blood rushes to my face making me look something like the Incredible Hulk on the can.
In fact my cousin and I coined the phrase “hulk it out” for when you know you should go, but nothing is coming. Hulk get mad. Hulk sit on toilet for 30 minutes and nothing happens.
I have some really tricky Crohn’s. While most of the time I have your standard-issue eat-a-sandwich-and-run-to-bathroom-20-minutes-later Crohn’s, when it gets really upset I obstruct and I can physically feel the lump of irate intestine in my gut.
When It’s über-bad, I can actually knock on my ileum and feel a sharp ding like a haunted xylophone. At this point it’s extremely painful. In situations like this, the only thing I can really do is ride it out and wait for the inflammation to un-flame.
Hopefully the Hulk doesn’t need to poop.
But it always feels like I have to. When I inflame the inflammation itself feels like a bun in the oven, and this process of pushing so hard I turn into a superhero has lead to countless hours in the bathroom pondering the mysteries of life.
Sometimes I am able to push whatever food is willing to make an appearance past the blockage in my ileum but most of the time it’s just playing a trick on me, gearing me up for a fight that never happens. This makes me very mad, and much like the Hulk, you wouldn’t like me when I’m mad.
Especially if I’ve eaten Mexican.