Ben Morrison blogs with an abundance of humor about Crohn's disease.See all posts »
Crohn's: My Personal Kill Switch
Learn about how Crohn's disease is comedian Ben Morrison's roommate that's quick to tell him the party is over.
I have a
roommate in my tummy that doesn’t like it when I party. This roommate lets me
get away with more than I deserve, but it needs sleep, and when it’s time, will
turn out the lights. My Crohn’s is my kill switch. And that’s a good thing.
As long as we’re talking I should say I am not as good to my body as I could be. Having been a comedian for 11 years, my workplace is bars and comedians are not known for their restraint. I drink. I stay up late, and recently, I’ve been touching cigarettes. All things I know I shouldn’t do, and if I didn’t have Crohn’s, would do much more of.
If I did not have Crohn’s I am sure I’d be much deeper into my love of substances. My father is a drinker and my grandmother I am told was legendary for hiding bottles in every nook of their house. When I get on a tear my instinct is to tear it up and I can always tell when it’s time to repair when putting a hand over my surgically-altered ileum, I can hear it putting me to sleep. I can hear it making my bed, I can hear it brushing my teeth, and I can feel it tucking me in when it’s time. It’s the kill switch in my belly.
It’s also my link to the gravity of my situation. If I am good at one thing it’s living in my imagination. As odd as it seems, one of the ways I deal with having Crohn’s is pretending I don’t have it. It’s enabled me to deal with a permanent condition in a semi-permanent way and as my life is constantly on the go, my living depends on appearing healthy and mobile.
I gotta hand it to my Crohn’s—it’s cut me more slack than I deserve and when it tells me it needs time to rest, it is polite if not a little painful. It is my companion on this journey and it’s always got my best interests in mind.
It’s the kill switch in my stomach and I wouldn’t have it any other way.