Hold That Pause
Hold That Pause

Sexuality in Menopause and Post-Menopause Years

a senior coupleThere is absolutely no pun intended, but, my last post on loss of libido in menopause turned out to be one very “hot” topic.

I posted it on my Facebook page and the ladies went wild. Some of them lamented the loss of their libido while others were just “fine and dandy” with not having sex post-menopause. Personally, as I always tend to do, I fall somewhere in the middle.

When you’ve enjoyed a robust sex life, the idea of not continuing to have that is sometimes a bit disappointing. Perhaps it is because sex is far more than just a physical experience. It’s deeply emotional, and even spiritual in my view. Not being able to share that with someone feels like a loss.

On the other hand, let’s face it: It takes a lot of energy, effort, trust, and willingness to open yourself up (read: work) to another human being for that great emotional and spiritual connection to happen. And well, I’m just not so sure that I’m up for that anymore.

Especially when there are flower gardens to plant, books to read, beaches to sit on, and new shoes to buy. 

The main point of my article though, was to ask the question, that if women are happy not having sex in the later years of life, is that necessarily a bad thing? Because, I’m inclined to think that it’s not. As a dear friend well into her 70s, once said to me many years ago, “Young women need sex. I don’t.”

And she was quite happy with that arrangement, never accepting offers from men, though she had been widowed for well over 20 years when she said that.  She had her busy life, her children, her grandchildren, and the complete freedom to live as she wished. It was enough for her, and she was satisfied.

But what about those women (maybe even you) who do want to continue having a sex in the menopause and post-menopause years, but your body and your libido are not cooperating? Is there anything you can do?

Well, yes, there is.

With the decrease in estrogen and progesterone in menopause and post-menopause years, there can also be a decrease in testosterone. Both estrogen and progesterone, along with testosterone, play an enormous role in desire, arousal, and ultimately, the “Big-O.”

While vaginal dryness and thinning of the vaginal walls resulting from low estrogen can make sex physically uncomfortable, if you’re not producing enough testosterone, sexual desire and even the ability to have an orgasm, are pretty much out the window.

Testosterone pellets, along with estrogen replacement, can do fabulous things to restore vaginal health and increase the libido. I personally used testosterone pellets for a few months a couple of years ago, and I can tell you with absolutely certainty…it works.


Testosterone gels and creams are also available if the idea of having pellets inserted into your derriere is not entirely pleasing. And of course, low doses of estrogen are also available in gels, creams, patches, and pill form as well.

The point is, you don’t have to abandon your sex life in the menopause and post-menopause years. However, if you have reached a place in your life where sex is not that important to you, there is certainly nothing wrong with that either. Like so many other things in life, it is simply nothing more than a personal choice and matter of preference.

Magnolia Miller is a certified healthcare consumer advocate in women's health and a women's freelance health writer and blogger at The Perimenopause Blog.

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Tags: Life After Menopause

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About the Author

Magnolia is dedicated to empowering women to take responsibility for their own health.