After surviving a rare coronary artery dissection and massive heart attack while nine months pregnant, Nefertari has devoted her life to uplifting other heart patients and promoting heart health awareness.See all posts »
Being a Mother with a Semi Broken Heart
On a normal day I would need the energy of six college athletes just to keep up with all of the activities and chores needed to maintain my lifestyle as a mother of five children. However, I don't have that energy--it's just little old me and my semi broken heart.
I say this because my seven year-old told me that it was okay that I don't move around a lot; that she still loves me anyway. Kids are so honest. I needed that reality check. I didn't really know what my kids thought of the "new me." I knew my two oldest remembered the vibrant-full of energy "old me," but the younger children were very little when I had a heart attack.
That comment promoted a family meeting. I explained to my very conservative minded 7 year-old that I had a boo-boo in my heart which is why I can't do as much as other mommies can.
She looked at me with her large bright brown eyes and said "Mom, I know that. I read your blog. I was just saying that you could still put on something pretty sometimes even though your work from your bed."
I know that I shouldn't feel that I must fit into a certain mold in order to keep up with the image of the everyday soccer mom. As a mom with heart disease, I keep a clear understanding of my reality. I very often hear, "Wow, you look great. You don't even look like you have heart disease!" Well, I do. My slow movements and need to sit often are because I have a weak heart and the last thing I need is to worry about how others may think of me!
Having a disability is not my fault and I must not be hard on myself when I am unable to do what most expect from a mother of five children. I do my best, I take my time and accept my life for what it is.
I may not look the "part," (whatever "the part" looks like) but I live with a semi-broken heart. It beats too rapidly at times, my lungs fill up with fluid often and I even swell sometimes beyond recognition. However, I don't let that stop me. I am a mother of five living with heart disease and I do it with pride!!!
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