Greetings, friends of the Diabetic Partner Follies
, the forum for significant others of the PWDs (people with diabetes). We are getting it through our heads that you folks live with diabetes, too, and that often it ain't no picnic.
This week's entry really choked me up. It's the kind of thing I hope is in my partner's heart, although men tend to be less poetic in expressing these things. It also made me realize that having the Big D around IS like having another being in the relationship mix, after all. See what you all make of it. (And feel free to email me directly with anything you might like to share.)
I realized after getting married that I had a force to contend with. Not my
husband's mother, as is the case for most new brides, but my husband's
diabetes. I think of it, occasionally, as the other woman.
He knew her long before he knew me. They've been through countless ups anddowns together and have an intimate bond I will never be a part of. They havetheir own language, and while I can hold my own in a conversation about bolusingand complex carbohydrates, I will never speak it as fluently as they.
And so I have to remember, when I see the two of them getting in to troubleor mistreating one another, that I was the last one to arrive at the dance. Ihave joined the party, but there will always be that boundary, no matter howmuch I learn or how much time passes, that I cannot cross over.
I can't make his feet stop hurting when neuropathy rears its very uglyhead. I can't make him exercise, no matter how much I may suggest it. I can'tfully empathize with what high and low blood sugars feel like. And I can't makeher go away.
But there's plenty I can do. I can carry a meter and test strips (andSkittles) in my purse. I can make sure his prescriptions stay filled. I cancount every carbohydrate I put into our meals. I can sit beside him in themiddle of the night when we're waiting for his blood sugar to level out.
In the end, I can't control the two of them, but most importantly, I can --and do -- love him unconditionally.-- T.P.