Welcome back at last to the Diabetic Partner Follies, a series of guest posts from the Loved Ones and partners of us PWDs (People with Diabetes). Wow, hearing about this disease from the other side is not pretty. Not pretty at all. Please read this latest heartfelt contribution from a partner who is, well, ... just depressed about her family's state of affairs.
I just found your website and cannot believe that there actually is one for partners of diabetics. People don't realize how much diabetes affects the partners and can be very flip or glib about it. They just think they should buy an insulin pump or take better care of themselves, it's not that simple. My sob story is a very long one and I appreciate the audience.
My husband and I have been married for 20 years. He has been a type 1 diabetic since before we met. To make a long story short, he has had more low blood sugar episodes than I can count, seizures in the middle of the night, paramedics coming over to help out because he's too big for me to control, all kinds of wonderful things. In the last month we have been through 2 major episodes where he got up at night and hit the floor, hitting his head in the process.
Needless to say, any kind of loud noises at any time of day make me jump. But last week's episode was the icing on the cake. We were at a ceremony for my daughter's lacrosse team and were waiting for food and I could tell he wasn't feeling too well. He started shaking visibly in front of everyone. I quickly managed to get some pizza and thank the Lord he didn't have a seizure in front of everyone. He actually listened while I nudged him by the tables to sit down. My sweet, dear daughter took it in stride (and by the way I had to also monitor my younger daughter to make sure she was doing alright).
I'm depressed because this happened at my daughter's ceremony. I'm depressed because it's really really hard sometimes. I know it's very hard for him and he has to live with it, but there are silent witnesses to these events and only the strongest can truly bear it. I'm depressed because I have to be a caretaker. I'm depressed because these things affect my children as they grow up. It's not getting easier as he gets older, and I am depressed because his mother went through the same things with his father and now I feel like her.
Thanks for letting me vent, it was very cathartic. Here's to all of the silent witnesses and helpers that struggle with our loved ones and their diabetes.
Thanks for your honesty and openness, Kari. It frightens me to think my family might have to go through this someday. And I do wonder what the community here will have to offer you by way of support...?