I've been putting off my visit to the endo's office.
Not only because I don't see the need to make any changes, but because I've been slacking off about keeping in touch with her and communicating about where I am in my diabetes management.
Really, I don't see the need to go spend time (or co-pay) at a visit where I'm going to hear the scripted questions of "Why are you so high?" and "What's standing in your way?"
Yes, I appreciate the discussion, and that she wants to know what's up, how she can help...
So, just as Allison reported not long ago, I'm playing diabetes hookie. I've honestly just been avoiding the same old song and dance that leaves us tip-toeing around the edges of the dance floor without really knowing the steps.
This month's DSMA Blog Carnival topic got me thinking about this, in which we were asked to explore a question from the May 30th session on "Tips & Tricks for Visiting Your Doctor." Specifically, do we get nervous or stressed about having to go to the endo/doc appointment, and the reasons for that.
For the record: it's not that I am nervous or stressed about going to see my endo. I just don't see the point right now. What needs to happen has nothing to do with my endo or CDE — it's all me.
My blood sugars aren't in range — I know that just by looking at my meter. Hell, I don't even have to look at my meter. Or my crazy glu-coaster CGM graphs. It's clear how I'm doing. There's nothing a doctor can say or do to motivate me or change my behavior, honestly. So let's not waste each other's time.
Thinking back, I have been nervous about appointments in the past and I probably will be again. I get nervous when I'm really trying hard on the D-management front and am highly anticipating my latest A1C result to somehow "justify" that I've been doing a "good" job (completely recognizing that I'm sidestepping the issue of A1C reliance and allowing numbers to define how I feel...).
Maybe nothing, since we're talking about our own feelings on getting results handed to us. Nothing changes that.
Some say they need to make it less "scary," or just "talk to us as people and not textbook patients." Yes, I suppose those are important approaches, I'd agree.
Actually, one of the most creative ideas I've heard on this topic comes from Dr. Bill Polonsky of the Diabetes Behavioral Institute in San Diego, who mentioned at an ADA Scientific Sessions panel discussion recently that his clinic is now giving out stickers reminding people with diabetes that numbers aren't statements of self-worth; the stickers say, "It's Just A Number!" To me, that's one of the best things any endo or CDE can do — remind us that it IS just a number, that the context is important, and it shouldn't make us feel defeated or worthless.
Short of that, I think it comes down to each one of us individually to find whatever motivation we need to hit the endo's office. Even if that means hearing what you've been trying to avoid. Bottom line is there's no magic bullet; I guess you've got to make like Nike and "just do it."
With that in mind, I need to schedule my appointment. It's time to face the music and dance.
Note: This post is our entry in the June 2012 DSMA Blog Carnival. If you'd like to participate too, you can get all of the information you need right here.