Bullying of LGBT Teens Encourages Antibullying Initiatives

Call me old, but isn't it amazing that LGBT kids are even identifiable in schools? The idea that these kids are brave enough to come out so young speaks well of our society's ability to adapt and accept diversity. Do not get me wrong - bullying is not OK, I just had to say that having kids come out while they are still in school might be a sign of progress. Now that they are out, we do have a responsibility to protect them.

We all have been the target of discrimination, bias, teasing, and bullying. At some point in most people's lives they are targeted for being too fat, too skinny, too nerdy, too short, too tall, too rich, too poor, too dark, too light, too smart, too dumb, too Jewish, not Christian, too athletic, too wimpy, too sexual, not sexual, and the list goes on and on. Many schools stop kids from using ethnic slurs, or picking on people because of their size or social status, or brains, but few stop kids from saying things like "that's gay."

A recent Harris Interactive Survey of 3,400 students and 1,000 educators conducted by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) reported that 65% of the participants reported verbal abuse or physical assaults related to homophobia in the last year. In addition, 84% of the participants reported hearing derogatory remarks such as "faggot" or "dyke" at school, and 38% of the students said they had been subjected to physical harassment because of their sexual identity.

When school is unsafe, kids skip school and fail to go on to college, which is a tragedy for them as well as our economy. The things schools can do to support LGBT students include:

• Start young - include books about diversity in libraries for all ages;
• Use the use lesbian, gay, bisexual in discussions about tolerance and diversity;
• Have a LGBT "safe" teacher - too talk to and learn about community resources;
• Have a Rainbow Alliance or club to celebrate diversity;
• Do teacher training to encourage them not to tolerate harassment based on sexual identity; and
• Have antibullying policies that clearly make harassment based on sexual orientation unacceptable.

If the conversation at your school is lacking - start one. There will be many kids safer because you had the courage to include them in your antibullying campaigns.

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Homeschooling Banned in CA?

On February 28, 2008 the Second District Court of Appeal ruled that California law requires parents to send their children to full-time public or private schools or have them taught by credentialed tutors at home. Specifically, California's compulsory education statutes require children ages 6 to 18 to attend a full-time day school, either public or private, or to be instructed by a tutor who holds a state credential for the child's grade level. This seems to be news to the ~166,000 children who are apparently truant and whose parents risk prosecution.

The ruling was in response to a child welfare dispute with one family in Los Angeles County that homeschools their eight children, but who are not registered with the state as a private school, which is how many families get around the law. Their opinion is not new, and the 3-0 ruling sites cases in 1953 and 1961 reiterating that parents do not have a constitutional right to homeschool their children.

California might be the only state to make homeschooling illegal, if it started prosecuting families not in compliance with the law. I have to say I have feelings on both sides of this issue - I know homschooled kids who are below grade level academically and I know of a few who have soared into top-notch colleges - but underneath it all - I believe kids deserve an education that teaches them how to be good citizens, and will give them the opportunity to participate in our economy at whatever level they choose to in the future. What do you think?

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Education Update - Is it Good News or Not?

Keeping to the educational theme this week, it seems more CA students are passing college-level exams than in previous years. A recent article in our local paper suggested that according to the California Department of Education, about 20% of the kids in CA score at least a "3" on an advanced placement (AP) test, which is a passing score on the 5-point scale. Students who pass the test can earn credit and advanced placement in college. Across the country, only about 12% of students are passing an AP test, although there are state differences. In New York 23% pass; in Maryland 22% pass; Virginia is coming in at 22%, and Connecticut, Massachusetts and Vermont are at about 20%. There are ethnic disparities however - in California, only about 2% of the passing scores are African American students, compared to the 7% of students who are African American in our schools.

I really am ambivalent about AP classes, overall, especially given the concern about "raising the bar" and making it so hard to get into universities. More than 90% of four-year colleges and universities in the United States recognize the AP program for credit, placement and admissions decisions, adding it to the list of "must dos" for the college bound among our children. One of my own daughters is finishing her sophomore year and is staring down the barrel of AP courses next year, on top of thoughts about where to attend college, and I dare say, it seems a little intense.

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Birth Control in Middle School?

The Portland (Maine) school board and Division of Public Health are allowing King Middle School students to get sexually transmitted infection testing and treatment, as well as birth control without notifying parents. The goal, of this controversial act, is to provide students who are participating in risky behavior access to needed health services.

Research has shown repeatedly that having the services will not encourage the students who do not participate in risky behavior to go out and look for trouble - the services will only help those who need them. It is not right, and it is sad, but there are middle school students participating in sexual behavior. Which would we as a society prefer - a 14-year old pregnant girl, or one on birth control?

It amazes me that the same society that sexualizes young girls, sells every product known to humankind with sexuality, and encourages young girls to fixate on their appearance and sex appeal, finds providing the healthcare required by the consequences of those activities inappropriate and a violation of parental rights.

I'll tell you what is a violation of my rights as a parent - that I cannot protect my children from exposure to sexuality, drugs, alcohol, and smoking without limiting their freedom. All I can do as a parent is talk to them, and mitigate the perception that "everyone" is doing it, and that participation in those risky activities is the way to become popular, successful, and strong.

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Labels: Parenting, School, STD

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Small Class Sizes and Health

Several years ago, when my kids were in a public elementary school, a couple of other concerned parents and I started a parent group to raise enough money to pay an extra teacher to keep the 4 - 6 grade class sizes low, because it was obvious that 30 kids in a classroom was too many, and every teacher and parent seemed to know it. Sadly, when I called the dean at a local university School of Education to get some support for small class size, she said something along the lines of - oh why bother - research suggests kids are fine in larger class sizes, which seemed ridiculous. Well, not being one to believe what I am told, we raised the money anyway, and for two years were able to keep the class sizes in our school down to 20, K - 6th.

I love these moments in life because lo and behold, we were just a little before our time! An article was just published in the American Journal of Public Health suggesting that class size reductions would generate a net cost savings of approximately $168,000 and a net gain of 1.7 quality-adjusted life-years (QALYS) for each high school graduate produced by small classes. When targeted to low-income students, the estimated savings would increase to $196,000 per additional graduate. The authors conclude that reducing class sizes may be more cost-effective than than most public health and medical interventions!

This is great news and yes, I admit it is greater because it matches what I believe - fewer kids in a classroom means more learning!

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Book Review: When Your Kid Goes to College: A Parents Survival Guide

As promised, here is the first book I can recommend for parents struggling with an empty nest. When Your Kid Goes to College: A Parents Survival Guide (1998), by Carol Barkin is a "support group with a binding" for parents preparing to let their kids go off to college. It is supportive, reassuring, and practical. Every family is different of course, so there is no "how to" manual, but this book is a great start - providing both the parent and student perspectives on celebrations and rituals, packing, emotional ups and down, relationships, and even many great suggestions for how to share the process in divorced families.

For those of you readers whose children have gone off to college, sit back and gloat that you survived, for those of you approaching the college years, this is a wake-up call - start preparing your children to be independent now - do not delay!

Ms. Barkin describes the months before the student leaves for college as intense. For the student, there is major emotional upheaval. Underneath the excitement of graduating from high school, and starting college are fears about whether or not they selected the right school, will make friends, and know what they need to survive in college. The more reflective students may also be a little sad that their childhood is drawing to an end and the security of home can no longer be taken for granted.

Parents, too have spent months worrying about issues as diverse as whether their child is as good as others and if the school they are attending will nurture their brilliance, and whether the co-ed showers will be an issue. Really obsessive parents buy a years worth of shampoo, remind their kids to eat five fruits and vegetables a day, and start home economics classes to teach "the basics" of getting up without a wake-up from a parent, cleaning, maintaining the car, banking, accessing medical care, and doing laundry. Every parent has worked so hard to get their kid to college, and is proud, but with every other breath, the same parent may just want to keep them in a strangle hold.

Every family says goodbye differently, whether it is at an airport, a new campus, or even on the phone, and then there is the emptier nest. Whether you have other children, or not, there is an empty spot in the car, at the table, in family debates, or even jokes - you will miss your child. This is normal. You can write cards and letters, leave voice messages, send emails, but try and let your child dictate how much contact there is - s/he is also trying to get used to the new life. Telling him or her that you miss them terribly is a burden they do not need - they cannot fix it - that is your job.

According to this book, most parents say "start filling the holes." Start a new project, make travel plans for seeing your child, take a weekend getaway, talk to other parents whose children also have just left, spend extra time with the children at home, join a new organization, start a home project, make new friends, but whatever you do, find something positive to think about, not just the child you are missing.

If you are used to knowing where your child was during the day, what the classrooms or work place looked like, it can be very disconcerting for you not to know what your child is doing, when, or where. Try not to focus on what you do not know, and plan a trip to visit your child so you can see what his or her dorm room is like, where the classes are, where they eat, etc... so there is less anxiety on your part.

One very important warning in this book is about the first time you visit your child at school. Be prepared for some awkwardness and for him or her not to need to spend every minute with you - they are not used to spending 24 hours a day with you and may have a life! Please do not be critical of there space, lifestyle, friends, or choice - be supportive of the life they are building. Be prepared to be shown around, and then left alone at times - this is a good thing - it means they are adjusting! Try not to be hurt or annoyed - it is what it is!

Obviously there is more in this book than I can share in this review, so I encourage you to read it for tips about preparing for the transition, what to do if things do not go well, and living through the first year. As with any transition in life - you are not alone - reach out, talk about how it feels to have your kid leaving for or at college, and forgive yourself for wishing s/he was still at home instead of grown up - this is all good!

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Labels: Parenting, School

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Weight Control in Middle School

Eating disorders obviously have negative consequences on people suffering with them including electrolyte imbalances, menstrual and digestive dysfunction, cardiomyopathy, and premature death. Disordered weight-control behaviors - like laxative use and vomiting are precursors to eating disorders and have also been found to be common in obese adolescents. Childhood obesity also has long term consequences to health. To combat both eating disorders and obesity, more schools are implementing wellness programs in conjunction with traditional fitness classes - to give students the skills they need to be healthy throughout their lives.

Results from research on Planet Health, an interdisciplinary school-based obesity prevention intervention were recently published in the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine suggesting that the program prevented disordered weight-control behavior in early adolescent girls. That article also suggests that more research must be done to figure out what works to prevent eating disorders in middle school-aged males, who did not reflect the same benefits as females after being exposed to the intervention.

The curriculum includes health messages focused on physical activity, TV viewing, and consumption of fruits and vegetables. This study was conducted with 13 middle schools in Massachusetts and the results published are from 1,451 students in grades 6 and 7. The results showed that at follow-up, there were more girls reporting disordered weight-control behaviors in the control schools than in the schools that received the intervention.

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Are Teens Emotionally Ready for College

A recent article in Edutopia by Jill Flury suggested that many teens are not emotionally ready for college, and it is our fault! In spite of the fact that kids are put into the college fast track in elementary school, institutions are providing support to meet college admissions requirements, there are tutors to help teens get into the college of their choice (for those who can afford it), and parents are pushing kids to "do it all," there are plenty of kids who do not make it through the first year at universities nation-wide.

Ms. Flury suggests that the dropout rate is not about a lack of academic skills, instead it is because students are not being prepared for the transition to college - and the self-care that transition requires. College frosh are experiencing low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, stress, and health issues at record levels. Knowing how to write an essay, having a high GPA, playing an instrument, being an athlete, national scholar, or valedictorian, are not going to prepare a student for pressures of living independently. Very few school are giving teens the "wellness" skills they will need to manage stress, deadlines, and competing goals (like fun and schoolwork). There are exceptions, like the fitness and wellness program at Castilleja School, in Palo Alto, but these programs are not the norm.

This article suggests that we need to worry about teaching kids how to do laundry, cook, clean, maintain their car, manage money, handle the daily stress of competing goals, and find ways to take care of themselves emotionally, spiritually, and physically while juggling everything else in their lives - like school, relationships, and work. Teens seem to need a wellness course, in addition to living skills, and parents need to make sure this training is happening at schools or in their own homes. Maybe we are beginning to see that the overscheduled, AP track is not really working for our teens and as parents, we are going to have to help them pull back the reins and slow down!!

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Expanded Learning Time in Schools

The Center for American Progress published an interesting report about expanded learning by Elena Rocha on August 28, 007. Given how many educational reforms I could suggest to enhance the well-being and health of teens, it surprised me that Ms. Rocha reported that the Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings believes that the next major push in school reform will be the expansion of learning time.

This expanded learning time is basically adding 3-5 PM to the current school day. The support for this reform seems to be that "our nation's public school students need to meet the demands and challenges of the 21st century." By expanding the school day, policymakers hope to close the achievement gaps between disadvantaged students and their peers. I believe the idea is that during these extra two hours a day, teachers and student will engage in high-level mentoring, projects, community service, and life-skills training with adults from the community as guides. These activities will focus on work- and college-readiness, across grades, and will start in K-3 with low achieving students.

Granted, I know that keeping kids in school until their parents are home will cut down a huge amount on the risk-taking behavior of teens, but is keeping them in school really the best answer? Maybe it is just me, but if the current six-hour, 180-day school year is failing, why do more of it? How is adding two hours making better use of the learning time? I might be cynical, but I am having a hard time imagining schools will radically change what they are doing, how they are doing it, and with whom. If there were people willing to come into schools and teach kids for free during the work day, wouldn't they be already volunteering?

I assume these programs will only be provided for disadvantaged youth since the kids that are already involved in after school sports, music, community services, or arts programs, would want to be able to continue with those activities. That's it - the federal government needs to give every family a voucher to pay for after-school enrichment activities of their choice - and build community centers where kids can play sports, travel internationally, and take art, music, dance, computer, cooking, and life-skills training courses with their vouchers. What a great idea! Given the summer slide in achievement and fitness, I think this program better be year round - and at $6,000 a child, it is a real deal! What a great reform - give every child the opportunities the middle-class can afford! I hope they name this the Brown Reform of 2007!!

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Teens Leaving for College

There are entire books written for teens going away to college - how to prepare, how to make the best of your freshman year, getting the most from your undergraduate education, etc... but what many parents forget to read are the books about what it is like to watch your teen prepare to leave home - maybe for good! I will be reviewing a couple of those books for parents in the next few weeks, but for now, I just want to put my arms around all of the parents out there who have just been left at home while their teens went off to college! Here is a great big hug!

I know this is tough - I have been watching for months, as the packing, planning, and saying good-bye has been happening, but now, there is a finality to the whole process - the teen is safely settled into a dorm somewhere far away, excited about buying books, doing laundry, eating in the cafeteria, meeting great people, starting classes, and adjusting to the weather. Great for him or her - but what about the parent - who is waiting for the phone to ring and dealing with the emptiness in the house, at the dinner table, in the car, and in his or her day?

Some parents seem calm - almost peaceful - and others are stressed, tearful, and anxious - and I am unsure what makes the difference. We all knew this was coming - there were college applications, the SAT and AP exams, graduation - there is only one place those activities take our children - away from us! Whether your child moved out of the house for good or left their room intact and moved into a dorm - they are adults now - on their own, responsible for themselves, and thanks to you, prepared!

I keep flashing back to when my first child started kindergarten. I remember reassuring her that even if I was not with her during the day, I was still in her heart and then crying my eyes out as the door to the room shut behind me. I remember telling myself I had done everything I could to give her the self-confidence and skills she needed, and it was time to let her go walk through the world without me. All that drama for four hours every morning five days a week seems so silly now - and really petty compared to letting a kid go off to the other side of the country and live in a co-ed dorm. Whether or not it is a fair comparison - the issues are the same - and we use the same words to describe the process - launching, empty nest, letting go, and independence.

This is an important transition - your young adults need to learn how to manage their lives without us nagging at them, saving them or helping them organize and accomplish things - it is their time and we have done everything we can to help them be successful - now let them go and start filling the holes. Take care of yourself, spend more time with other children, friends or spouses, start a new hobby, work more, but let your teen be independent. No calling five times a day, or trying to keep them attached! Breathe deep, pat yourself on the back for raising a successful human being, and move on - it will be a gift for both of you!

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Labels: Parenting, School

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School-Based Mentoring Programs

Due to the findings of previous research, and the common sense notion that children benefit from additional adult support, it is commonly believed that well-implemented mentoring programs can help youth be successful, and there are about 870,000 youth in the United States currently benefiting from mentoring. The most common form of the mentoring is for adults or older youths to visit students on the school campus, typically one hour during or after school, to provide the student with friendship, support, and academic help. This approach is called school-based mentoring (SBM).

Some of the benefits attributed to mentoring include reduced alcohol and drug use, better parent-child relationships, better school attendance and positive attitudes about school. To learn more about the impact of mentoring programs, the Big Brother Big Sister of America (BBBSA) program developed a study that involved more than 70 schools and 1,139 youth in grades four through nine. These youth, their teachers, and the mentors were surveyed in the Fall of 2004 (baseline), the end of that school year (first follow-up), and again in late Fall 2005. There was also a cost survey for school administrators during the 2005-2006 school year.

The results of that study reported that the programs were very inexpensive and :

• Mentoring programs targeted low-income schools, and 80% of the youth lived with a single parent and/or were receiving free lunches;
• Only 9% of the mentors focused on academic improvement as their central goal, with most focusing on relationship-building, instead;
• Youth improved in their overall academic performance and quality of class work, skipped school less, and felt more competent in school; and
• The longer the match between mentor and student, the stronger the outcomes.

In addition, there was evidence that students did better when the contact continued through the summer, which makes sense given the last result above - that length of time matters. I believe that all contact matters, and that all youth benefit from having adults who care about them in their lives.

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Labels: Mentoring, School

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Back-to-School Basics

Here are some interested facts from the National Center for Education Statistics. Nearly 56 million elementary and secondary students (which includes 1.1 million homeschoolers, and 6 million attending the private schools) are heading off to about 97,000 public school and 28,000 private schools within a couple of weeks. Before the school year is out $489 billion will have been spent related to the education of those kids, including the salaries of the 3.5 million teachers.

74% of the kids attending public high schools will graduate with a diploma within four years, and 69% of high school grads will go on to attend a 2-year or 4-year college (which is up from 49% in 1972). There are about 18 million undergraduate students attending college this year supporting about 1.3 million faculty. The average cost of a 4-year undergraduate education in the United States is $15,100 a year.

As an academic, back-to-school has to be one of my favorite times of the year. I love the supplies, textbooks, locker decorating, uniforms or new clothes, excitement about the first day, learning how to get along with teachers, the start of the sports seasons, and the rhythm of the school week. Not only are there supplies and books to get prepared, there are likely also some habits that most teens need to change so they can get enough sleep and do their best in school.

The first thing most teens have to do is start going to bed earlier so they can get up early enough to get to school with a breakfast and a positive attitude. Teens need about 9 hours a sleep, and many do not get it without making a real effort. The next challenge is probably lunches, which most teens probably do not make themselves, but would be better off bringing from home than eating at school. As teens start being responsible for more of their lives, I think we as parents sometimes forget to remind them that life goes better and they feel better if they take care of the basics - getting enough exercise and sleep as well as eating healthy.

Finally, with school getting going, teens have to find enough time to do homework, build the college application with sports, music, community services, and work, while squeezing in some meaningful quality time with friends and family. Good luck with that - it seems to be a never ending struggle! Any way, good luck with this coming school year! Make the best of every chance you have, and enjoy every minute!

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Labels: School

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Violence and Schools

The recent shootings and violence in schools might give parents the impression that schools are more dangerous than ever before, although a report by the Bureau of Justice and Statistics and the National Center for Education Statistics suggests students are twice as likely to be victims of serious violence away from schools. More murders occur at home than at school and actually, the violent crime victimization rate at school declined from 1992 to 2003.

The report is not all good news - in fact, violence, theft, bullying, drug use, and weapons are still problems in schools, particularly urban schools. Some of the specific results include:
▪ in the 2002 - 2003 school year, there were 15 student homicides and 8 suicides in the nation's schools (< 1 per million students);
▪ in 2003, 21% of students reported that street gangs were present at their school during the previous six months;
▪ in 2003, 5% of students ages 12 to 18 reported being victimized (4% had something stolen and 1% were victims of a violent crime) at school during the previous six months;
▪ in 2003 13% of students reported being in a fight on school property, although 33% of high school students reported having been in a fight during the previous year; and
▪ in 2003 students in urban schools were twice as likely as students in rural or suburban schools to fear being attacked at school or on the way to and from school.

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