Thank You - Grand Rounds 4.29

Thanks to Dr. Wes Fisher at DrWes for hosting Grand Rounds 4.29 this week and including my poem in tribute to Larry King, a teen killed for being gay.

This week's Grand Rounds was a wonderful way to start my day - and not bad for a cardiologist - tweeners, sex, carbs and eavesdropping - it did get my heart pumping!

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Labels: GLBT, Grand Rounds, Healthline

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In Memory of Larry King

Larry King was murdered on February 12, 2008 at his junior high in Oxnard, CA. Larry was only 15 years old and liked to come to school in makeup, high heels, and earrings. When teased by the other boys, he teased them right back and was confident in his own gay, brave self.

The eighth-grade boy who shot him "because he was gay" is being tried as an adult and will likely go to prison for life, which means two lives were lost that day because letting other people be "different" is not OK with some people. I say being different should not matter, at school, work, and especially in our families. Please share the poem below with anyone who you think needs to know they are OK.

Labels: GLBT, Healthline, Preteens, Tragedy

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Bullying of LGBT Teens Encourages Antibullying Initiatives

Call me old, but isn't it amazing that LGBT kids are even identifiable in schools? The idea that these kids are brave enough to come out so young speaks well of our society's ability to adapt and accept diversity. Do not get me wrong - bullying is not OK, I just had to say that having kids come out while they are still in school might be a sign of progress. Now that they are out, we do have a responsibility to protect them.

We all have been the target of discrimination, bias, teasing, and bullying. At some point in most people's lives they are targeted for being too fat, too skinny, too nerdy, too short, too tall, too rich, too poor, too dark, too light, too smart, too dumb, too Jewish, not Christian, too athletic, too wimpy, too sexual, not sexual, and the list goes on and on. Many schools stop kids from using ethnic slurs, or picking on people because of their size or social status, or brains, but few stop kids from saying things like "that's gay."

A recent Harris Interactive Survey of 3,400 students and 1,000 educators conducted by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) reported that 65% of the participants reported verbal abuse or physical assaults related to homophobia in the last year. In addition, 84% of the participants reported hearing derogatory remarks such as "faggot" or "dyke" at school, and 38% of the students said they had been subjected to physical harassment because of their sexual identity.

When school is unsafe, kids skip school and fail to go on to college, which is a tragedy for them as well as our economy. The things schools can do to support LGBT students include:

• Start young - include books about diversity in libraries for all ages;
• Use the use lesbian, gay, bisexual in discussions about tolerance and diversity;
• Have a LGBT "safe" teacher - too talk to and learn about community resources;
• Have a Rainbow Alliance or club to celebrate diversity;
• Do teacher training to encourage them not to tolerate harassment based on sexual identity; and
• Have antibullying policies that clearly make harassment based on sexual orientation unacceptable.

If the conversation at your school is lacking - start one. There will be many kids safer because you had the courage to include them in your antibullying campaigns.

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Labels: GLBT, Healthline, School

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Rainbow Project GLBTQ Book List

The Rainbow Project has announced the first annual bibliography for young readers from birth through age 18. This new bibliography contains 45 fictional and informational books copyrighted between 2005 and 2007 that validate same-gender lifestyles and experiences.

Here is the 2008 list, and you can get more information at the Rainbow List on MySpace.

Beginning Readers
Considine, Kaitlyn. Emma and Meesha My Boy: A Two Mom Story. Il. Binny Hobbs. 2005. unp. Two Moms Books, $10.95. (9780615189253). Pre-K. When Emma's two moms teach her to be nice to her cat, Emma enjoys being told yes instead of no.

Gonzalez, Rigoberto. Antonio's Card/La Tarjeta de Antonio. Il. Cecilia Concepcion Alvarez. 2005. 32p. Children's Book Press, $16.95. Gr. 1-3. Antonio comes to terms with his classmates' ridicule of his mother's partner, Leslie.

Jopling, Heather. Monicka's Papa Is Tall. Il. Allyson Demoe. 2006. unp. Nickname (9780978073909). Pre-K. Monicka's papa and daddy are very different, but the puzzle pieces show that both of them love her very much.

Jopling, Heather. Ryan's Mom Is Tall. Il. Allyson Demoe. 2006. unp. Nickname Press, (9780978073916). Pre-K. Ryan's mom and mummy are very different, but the puzzle pieces show that both of them love him very much.

Lindenbaum, Pija. Mini Mia and Her Darling Uncle. Trans. Elisabeth Kallick Dyssegaard. 2007. unp. R&S Books, $16.00. (9789129667349/9129667348). K-Gr. 2. Jealous of her uncle's new partner, Fergus, feisty Mia plays tricks to drive him away until the day Uncle Tommy isn't feeling well and she decides to accept his relationship with Fergus.

Richardson, Justin and Peter Parnell. And Tango Makes Three. Il. Henry Cole. 2005. unp. Simon & Schuster, $15.99. (9780689878459/0689878451). K-Gr. 2. At New York City's Central Park Zoo, two male penguins parent an egg and start a family.

Middle/Early Young Adult Fiction
Burch, Christian. The Manny Files. 2006. 296p. Atheneum, $15.95. (9781416900399/141690039X). 296p. Gr. 5-8. Shy Keats Dalinger learns from his unconventional male "nanny" to be more self-confident and out-going while the "manny" becomes more and more a part of the family.

Hartinger, Brent. The Order of the Poison Oak. 2005. 211p. HarperTeen, $15.99. (0060567309). Gr. 7-10. Tired of being the school freak, gay 16-year-old Russel tries to escape as a summer camp counselor in a rural summer camp only to be attracted to the same counselor as his bisexual friend Min.

Howe, James. Totally Joe. 2005. 189p. Atheneum/Ginee Seo Books, $15.95. (978068983573/068983597X). Gr. 6-8. In 13-year-old Joe's alphabiography assignment—the story of his life from A to Z—he bares his soul about his parents, teachers, friends, and enemies--and his coming out.

Larochelle, David. Absolutely, Positively Not 2005. 219p. Arthur A. Levine Books, $16.95. (0439591090). Gr. 7-10. Fifteen-year-old Steven conscientiously collects photos of girls in bikinis and dates his female classmates in this humorous attempt to fit into his Minnesota high school, only to find out some surprising things about the people around him—and himself.

Limb, Sue. Girl Nearly 16, Absolute Torture. 2005. 216p. Delacorte, $15.95. (0385732163). Gr. 7-10. Forced to leave her boyfriend and visit with her father for two weeks, 15-year-old Jess finally learns the reason her father left her mother.

Peters, Julie Anne. Between Mom and Jo. 2006. 232p. Little, Brown/Megan Tingley Books, $16.99. (0316739065). 232p. Gr. 7-10. Fourteen-year-old Nick has a great life with his two moms until they split up and he's caught in the middle with no support.

Selvadurai, Shyam. Swimming in the Monsoon Sea. 2005. 280p. Tundra, $18.95. Gr. 7-10. Fourteen-year-old Amrith finds his life in Sri Lanka turned upside down when his Canadian cousin visits and Amrith falls in love with him.

Non-Fiction
Marcus, Eric. What If Someone I know Is Gay: Answers to Questions about What It Means to be Gay and Lesbian. 2007. 183p. Simon Pulse, $8.99. (9781416949701/1416949704). Gr. 7-12. This radically updated resource covers basics and not-so-basics in a question-and-answer format.

Miller, Calvin Craig. No easy answers: Bayard Rustin and the civil rights movement. [Portraits of Black Americans Series]. 2005. 160p. Morgan Reynolds, $27.95. (9781931798433/1931798435). Gr. 7-10. Although a leader in the US civil rights movement, Rustin's arrest, prosecution, and imprisonment for a homosexual encounter were used to discredit his work.

When I Knew. Ed. Robert Trachtenberg. Il. Tom Bachtell. 2005. 120p. Regan Books, $22.95. (0060571462). Gr. 9-12. More than 80 contributors briefly describe their self-discovery "eureka moment" regarding their sexual orientation in a fun book with a magazine style.

Young Adult Fiction

Alvarado, T. I. Wanted. 2006. 190p. Alyson, $14.95. (9781555839451/1555839452). Gr. 10-12. Bounty hunter Ladybird "Bird" Blacker has too much to deal with, from a pacifist partner to a six-foot-, seven-inch-tall business rival who wears a scowl you couldn't scrape off with a chisel—and then her little sister comes to town.

Berman, Steve. Vintage: A Ghost Story. 2007. 148p. Haworth , $12.95. (9781560236313/1560236310). Gr. 10-12. Rejected by his parents because he's gay and sent to live with his aunt, a teen is haunted by a handsome boy—in more ways than one—and only black magic will help.

Cameron, Peter. Someday This Pain Will Be Useful to You. 2007. 229p. Farrar/Frances Foster Books, $16.00. (9780374309893/03743098920. Gr. 10-12. Holden Caulfield, meet James Sveck, a white, middle-class New Yorker who disdains his peers and most of the adults in his life, except for the gay man who manages his mother's art gallery,

Davis, Will. My Side of the Story. 2007. 243p. Bloomsbury, $14.95. (9781596912946/1596912944). Gr. 10-12. Only 16, cheeky Jarold a.k.a. Jazz, hits the gay bars to escape the misery of his life.

Garden, Nancy. Hear Us Out!: Lesbian and Gay Stories of Struggle, Progress, and Hope,1950 to the Present. 2007. 230p. Farrar, $18.00. (9780374317591/0374317593). Gr. 8-11. Fact and fiction show the struggles for lgbt teens in America during the past five decades.

Goobie, Beth. Hello, Groin. 2006. 271p. Orca, $17.95. (9781551434599/1551434598). Gr. 9-12. Wanting to be normal, 16-year-old Dylan Kowolski tries to hide her lesbianism and develop sexual feelings for her boyfriend at the same time she has a passionate crush on her best female friend.

Humphreys, Helen. Wild Dogs. 2005. 185p. Norton, $13.95. (0393060152). Gr. 10-12. Alice, in love with a wildlife biologist, gathers at the forest's edge with her and four other people to save their dogs that have become feral.

Hyde, Catherine Ryde. Becoming Chloe. 2006. 215p. Knopf, $15.95. (0375832580). Gr. 9-12. Attempting to protect Wanda (aka Chloe), another homeless teenager, 17-year-old Jordan finds the brutality and beauty in life on their road trip across the country.

Levithan, David. Wide Awake. 2006. 221p. Knopf, $16.95. (9780375834660/0375834664). Gr. 9-12: In a future American when gay Jewish Abraham Stein is elected president, lovers Jimmy and Duncan join the throngs of people traveling to Topeka to protest the governor's threat to change votes.

Moore, Perry. Hero. 2007. 428p. Hyperion, $16.99. (9781423101956/1423101952). Gr. 10-12. Thom Creed, the son of superheroes, has to hide the fact that he's gay if he's going to fit into the League—but he finds a lot more problems than that facing him.

Noyes, Katia. Crashing America. 2005. 249p. Alyson, $14.95. (1555839118). Gr. 10-12. Afraid that she will kill herself at age 18 as her mother did, 17-year-old Girl (formerly Gretchen) flees San Francisco on a road trip to the Midwest, searching for a place where she belongs.

Peters, Julie Anne. Far from Xanadu. 2005. 282p. Little, Brown, $16.99. (031615881X). Gr. 9-12. Mike Szabo--ace softball player, weightlifter, a.k.a. Mary Elizabeth--has enough trouble surviving in her small town before a new girl, Xanadu, turns Mike's life upside down.

Peters, Julie Anne. grl2grl. 2007. 151p. Little, Brown/Megan Tingley Books, $11.99. (9780316013437/0316013439). Gr. 9-12. The young women in this collection of ten short stories are at different levels of self-discovery, searching for satisfying relationships.

Rucka, Greg. Gotham Central: Half a Life. 2005. 168p. Il. Michael Lark et al. DC Comics, $14.99. (1401204384). 168p. Gr. 9-12. Police detective Renee Montoya's secret lesbian life, which she must keep from not only her co-workers but also her family, puts her in great danger when she is implicated in a murder and her main defender is the psychopathic criminal Two-Face.

Sanchez, Alex. Getting It. 2006. 210p. Simon & Schuster, $16.95. (9781416908968/141690896X). Gr. 9-12. Hoping to impress a sexy female classmate, 15-year-old Carlos secretly hires gay student Sal to give him an image makeover in exchange for Carlos's helping to form a Gay-Straight Alliance at their Texas high school.

St. James, James. Freak Show. 2007. 298p. Dutton, $18.99. (978052547799-0). Gr. 9-12. Outrageously over-the-top teen drag queen Billy Bloom, a new student at the very conservative Dwight D. Eisenhower Academy, finds that life is not easy for him among the rich white students with their brutal homophobia.

Steinhofel, Andreas. The Center of the World. Trans. Alisa Jaffa. 2005. 467p. Delacorte, $16.95. (038572943X). Gr. 11-12. Seventeen-year-old Phil navigates his complicated family dynamics and his first sexual relationship in a lyrical novel first published in Germany.

Vickers, Lu. Breathing Underwater. 2007. 251p. Alyson, $24.95. (9781555839642/1555839649. Gr. 10-12.
In 1970s Florida, it's literally sink or swim for12-year-old Lily who struggles for self-acceptance while dealing with her mother's mental illness.

Wittlinger, Ellen. Parrotfish. 2007. 294p. Simon & Schuster, $16.99. (9781416916222/9781416916228). Gr. 9-12. When Angela, who has never felt comfortable as a girl, finally comes out as transgendered and begins life as a boy, she isn't prepared for everyone's reactions.

Nonfiction
Baez, John and others. The Gay and Lesbian Guide to College Life. 2007. 391p. Random/Princeton Review, $13.95 (9780375766237/037576237). Gr. 10-12. College life for GLBTQ students—financing, the right school, being out or not, dealing with GLBTQphobia, and more—is the focus of this guide for both students and those who love and care about them.

Beam, Chris. Transparent: Love, Family, and Living the T with Transgender Teenagers. 2007. 323p. Harcourt, $25.00. (9780151011964/0151011966). Gr. 10-12. Four transgendered girls share their world with a volunteer in a Los Angeles school for gay and transgender students.

Bechdel, Alison. Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic. 2006. 240p. Houghton Mifflin, $13.95. (9780618477944/0618477942). Gr. 11-12. Bechdel reveals her childhood experiences with a closeted gay father and her coming out as a lesbian in this powerful graphic-style memoir.

Carlip, Hillary. Queen of the Oddballs and Other True Stories From a Life Unaccording to Plan. 2006. 273p. Harper, $13.95. (9780060878832/0060878835). Gr. 10-12. This hilarious offbeat memoir chronicles the escapades of an unconventional girl surrounded by artists and rockstars in the 1960s and 1970s.

Cart, Michael and Christine A. Jenkins. The Heart Has Its Reasons: Young Adult Literature with Gay/Lesbian/Queer Content, 1969-2004. 2006. 205p. Scarecrow Press, $42.00. (978810850712/0810850710). Gr. 9-12. This overview of young adult glbtq fiction 1970 to 2004 includes lists of books for teens.

The Full Spectrum: A New Generation of Writing. Ed. David Levithan and Billy Merrill. 2006. 272p. Knopf, $9.95. (9780375832901/0375832904). 288pp. Gr. 8-11. This collection of essays and poetry from a wide diversity of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered teens shows the complexity of today's LGBTQ youths.

Hear Me Out: True Stories of Teens Educating and Confronting Homophobia. Planned Parenthood of Toronto. 2005. 197p. Second Story Press, $12.95. (1896764878). Gr. 9-12. Twenty teens from a variety of social, economic, ethnic, and racial backgrounds give personal accounts of gay, lesbian, queer, transgender, transsexual, and questioning young-adult experiences.

Keen, Lisa. Out Law: What LGBT Youth Should Know about Their Legal Rights. [Queer Action/Queer Ideas Series] 2007. 158p. Beacon, $11.00. (0807079669). Gr. 9-12. LGBT young adults can make a difference

Patterson, Romaine, with Patrick Hinds. The Whole World Was Watching: Living in the Light of Matthew Shepard. 2005. 289p. Advocate, $24.95. (1555839010). Gr. 9-12. After young gay Matthew Shepard was brutally murdered in Laramie (WY), the author of this book formed a group of "angels" who surrounded the bigoted Fred Phelps of Topeka (KS) when he and a small group picketed outside the killer's trial with such signs as "Matthew in Hell": this is the autobiography of the young woman who conceived and carried out this idea.

Rouse, Wade. America's Boy: A Memoir. 2006. 340p. Dutton, $24.95. (9780525949343/0525949348). Gr. 10-12. Growing up in southwestern Missouri in the 1970s and hopelessly out of step with the redneck masculinity surrounding him, Wade tries to hide the fact that he is gay by overeating.

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Labels: Book Review, GLBT, Healthline

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Literature for Transgender Youth

There may be up to 3 million transgender people in the United States (according to the National Center for Transgender Equality) which suggests that there are youth in every community who defy gender norms. It is universal, and although the 21st century is probably the most tolerant time in history, there are still youth who need the support of adults when questioning their gender identity because they are bullied at school or not accepted at home. Transgender youth tend to be invisible and may not know where to find support and resources.

Luckily, there are some great books that high school teachers can keep in their classrooms and libraries that will help questioning youth understand they are not alone.

Here is a list of five of them:

• Freak Show (2007) by James St. James, Dutton. A story about a teenage drag queen at an uptight private academy who wants to be not only accepted, but homecoming queen!
• Parrotfish (2007) by Ellen Wittlinger, SImon & Shuster. Did you know parrotfish can change gender? This is an idea that appeals to awkward Angela who wants to be accepted as Grady, and finds support in some unlikely places.
• Luna (2006) by Julie Anne Peters, Little Brown. Luna is a great story about Liam who transforms himself into Luna every night with the help of his sister's clothes and make-up, but wants to stop hiding.
• Choir Boy (2005) by Charlie Anders, Soft Skull Press. Berry loves to sing and when puberty threatens to change his voice, this young man decides castration or hormones may be the answer.
• Morgan in the Mirror (2004) by C.C. Saint-Clair, BookMakers Ink. Morgan is a trans man who decides to make a full transition to female.

Teachers are frequently seen as "safe" and therefore the adults that students first come to with questions about their gender or sexuality, and the best thing teachers can do is know about some of these books and resources to point the kids to. Libraries may not be able to include these books because of local politics, but classrooms can usually keep books under the radar. I have to warn you though, these books, along with books about homosexuality may never be officially checked out, but will disappear quickly, so check your stock frequently and be prepared to replace them on a regular basis.

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Labels: Book Review, GLBT, Sexuality, Teen Development

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Talking to Your Kids About Homosexuality

Ready or not! Sometimes the media creates a teachable moment for parents, whether we are ready or not. Last week's announcement that Albus Dumbledore, the Head of Hogwarts and protector of Harry Potter was gay, created exactly that - a moment to talk to your kids about homosexuality, discrimination and how homosexuality is portrayed in the media. The conversation mustbe structured to include your cultural or religious beliefs, but below are some basics you can use to start things off.

In my household, with teenagers brought up in the bay area, it was not that much of a newsflash, but we did discuss how we might have known, as well as a couple of story lines that we thought were not consistent with that fact, including the interactions of Dumbledore with the female owner of the Three Broomsticks, but maybe she is just a flirt. We also discussed whether or not we thought the last movies would sensationalize the idea more than necessary, but we will have to wait and see!

This might have been a tougher conversation for families with kids under 11, so I thought I would suggest a few conversation starters. For kids under 11:

• It is always a good idea to start by asking if they know what a word means, in this case, you could ask about heterosexual, homosexual, gay, lesbian, or queer. If you are feeling brave, take on bisexual, too, which is sometimes a little more difficult because we know little about the subject.
• Depending on where you live, your kids may already have friends with same-sex parents, which will make the conversation much easier because you can point out how families are families, and parents love children, no matter what sex the parents are.
• The next step is to clear up any stereotypes that might materialize when they explain the meaning of a word, and clarify that sometimes people fall in love with a person that is the same gender, so men love men and women love women.
• Depending on the maturity of the child, and the familiarity with the Harry Potter movies and books, you can talk about the story line and the fact that this fact about Dumbledore does not really change how people feel about him, or his role in Harry's life.
• You can also talk about why his sexuality may have not been reveled until the books were already written, social bias, and how people may have reacted if they were biased or prejudiced about homosexuality if the news had come earlier.
• Finally, for you cynics, you can have the conversation about "buzz" and why the media and author might be stirring up publicity for the last couple of movies.

In addition to helping kids understand what homosexuality is, this is a perfect opportunity to make sure that no matter what your views are about homosexuality, that your child knows that if s/he were gay or lesbian, that you would love him or her just as much as if they were heterosexual. This may really important if your cultural or religious beliefs suggest homosexuality is not an option because your child might think you would not love him or her if s/he was gay or lesbian.

Like all difficult conversations, it is important to be honest and let your kids know where you stand, what you expect from them, and to provide resources outside the family if you cannot talk with them about a particular subject.

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Labels: GLBT, Parenting

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Colage: Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere

There are 10 million people in the United States that have lesbian, gay, bisexual and.or transgender (LGBT) parents, which is the reason COLAGE was created. COLAGE is a group of people with LGBT parents that helps people feel like they are not the only person whose family is different. The mission of COLAGE is to engage, connect and empower people to make the world a better place for all children of LGBT parents and families.

COLAGE provides resources for families including books, videos, curriculum guides, speakers, training and links to other resources. They also sponsor family events, an online community for different ages, and even a pen pal program. The most important factor in mental health is "connection" to others - and sometimes living in a family that is "different" can make kids feel alone without reason. There are 10 million people living in LGBT families out there - who will understand what it feels like. Some kids are lucky, particularly here in the Bay Area - there have always been LGBT families in school whose parents are well-known and active in the community, but for others, they may need some support and COLAGE is there to help.

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Labels: GLBT, Web Resource

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LGBTQ harassment in Middle Schools

Wow! You know the world has changed when there are more than 500 gay-straight alliances existing in middle schools to protect teens against homophobia and bullying. Tolerance.org has an article by Carrie Kilman that was really interesting. Her article references the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) that collects data about the treatment of LGBTQ students in schools every two years.

The results from the 2005 survey suggest that 64% of middle school students report anti-gay bullying and name calling as major problems in their schools. Gay-straiaght alliances directly address this problem by creating safe spaces for LGBTQ youth and organizing campus wide events to increase tolerance for all marginalized groups and reduce anti-gay bullying. Two common vents are No Name Calling Week and the National Day of Silence.

Middle school has got to be the hardest time, socially, for most kids, and LGBTQ kids are always targets for bullies, so gay-straight alliances make perfect sense, but the fact that teens in 6th-8th grade are "out," is new, and suggests that our society, at least in some places, is becoming more tolerant, and that our teens at least are more comfortable talking about sexual orientation.

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Labels: Bullying, GLBT

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GLBT Movies to Share With Your Teens

The social construction of sexuality in our country has mostly ignored the reality of gay and lesbian adolescents. Until into the 70’s the psychiatric profession regarded homosexuality as an illness, and well into the 80’s, gay youth were treated as if they were a distinct category from “normal” and almost a separate species.

In the 80’s and 90’s gay adolescents were characterized with a “suffering suicidal” script and the social expectation was that they could expect injustice and discrimination.

The early 2000’s have opened up the possibility that gay adolescents might include resilient, proud and adaptive individuals. In the future, I am hoping that “gay” adolescence will not exist and that same-sex-attracted individuals will be found to be quite ordinary, neither better or worse off than other adolescents.

Talking about GLBT issues can be hard for parents, but it is an important conversation to have, so your teens know they can talk with you about anything they ar thinking about. Below are movies with GLBT themes that you may want to watch with your teens - as a way to open up conversation about GLBT issues in your home. Have fun!

• In & Out (1997)
• But I’m a Cheerleader (1999)
• Hedwig & the Angry Inch (2001)
• Better than Chocolate (2002)
• Treading Water (2002)
• My Life on Ice (2002)
• Saved! (2003)
• The Trip (2003)
• Inescapable (2004)
• Mysterious Skin (2004)
• Saving Face (2004)
• Brokeback Mountain (2005)
• Transamerica (2005)
• Breakfast on Pluto (2005)
• Kinky Boots (2006)

Links to previous posts: Gay Teens, Gay Teen Suicide Risk
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Labels: GLBT, Sexuality

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Gay Teens

In keeping with the theme of gay teens, a story in USA Today on 2/8/07 by Marilyn Elias talked about teens "coming out" earlier, feeling better about themselves, and feeling like there is more acceptance for homosexuality than in any other point in history. There are more than 3,200 gay/straight alliances in schools across the country, and many school counselors report working with students or parents around sexual orientation. Stories in the popular media about VP Cheney's daughter expecting a baby with her female partner, Ellen DeGeneres hosting the Oscars, Internet access, and frequent TV shows with gay or lesbian characters has helped to "normalize" the experience of youth coming to terms with their sexual orientation, but I fear "coming out" is far from a positive experience for many teens.

Teens coming out are still at risk. There are still hate crimes, very conservative regions, and people with families or religious values that cannot accept gay children. Some young gay teens leave home and most head for large cities, where they are likely to find support services and a sense of community. The more positive role models these kids have, the better chances they have of coming to terms with their sexual orientation as part of a fulfilling life path, not an obstacle.

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Labels: GLBT

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Suicide Risk and Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual (GLB) Youth

Every time I hear about a teen suicide that no one can explain, my heart breaks. You know the stories in the paper that report that a healthy, happy, athletic, beautiful, popular, and smart student has taken his (or her) own life and no one understands why. I always fear that the student had a secret that they believed would make them unlovable, and sadly, sometimes that secret is their sexual orientation.

The November 2006 issue of the Journal of Adolescent Health included an article about what protects GLB youth from suicide risk. The research suggested that gay, lesbian and bisexual (GLB) youth are particularly vulnerable to suicidaal feelings, although family connectedness, teacher caring, other adult caring, and school safety all protect youth from suicide attempts.

Data for the article came from the 2004 Minnesota Student Survey of 9th and 12th grade students in which 21,927 sexually active youth were grouped according to the gender of their sex partner(s) into GLB and non-GLB groups. Four protective factors and suicidal ideation and attempts were compared across groups. The results reported that:

• 2,255 respondents had same-gender experience;
• over half of GLB students had thought about suicide;
• and 37.4% reported a suicide attempt.

GLB youth reported significantly lower levels of each protective factor than their non-GLB peers, suggesting that suicidal ideation and attempts could be reduced if GLB youth perceived more support from their families and schools.

Do me a favor and tell your kids - in whatever way you can - that you love them unconditionally, and that you love them no matter what their sexual orientation is or will be. Be clear - say the words - "you know that I love you more than anything in the world, and that I would love you just as much if you were gay, lesbian, or bisexual, too!" Don't let your teens have a secret that could kill them!

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Labels: GLBT, Sexuality, Suicide

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Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning youth

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning youth have specific health needs and need safe places in the community where they can explore their feelings, socialize, and get support during adolescence and/or the coming out process. Many of these youth face discrimination and bullying, and need the support of parents,teachers, clinicians, and community members. Below is a resource list with links and brief descriptions for the San Francisco Bay Area.

The Outlet Program, Mountain View – Outlet supports and empowers lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning youth ages 13-20 living on the Peninsula and South Bay. Through a range of support services, leadership training, community education and advocacy, Outlet successfully increases youth confidence, builds personal assets, and creates healthier communities.

The Billy Defrank Center, San Jose - Youth programs provide a safe space for youth to develop their sexual and gender identities and empower them to realize their potential as valuable members of the community.

Lyric, San Francisco - Lavender Youth Recreation and Information Center (LYRIC) is a community center for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning youth 23 and younger. LYRIC’s mission is to build community and inspire positive social change through education enhancement, career training, health promotion, and leadership development with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning youth, their families, and allies of all races, classes, genders, and abilities.

The Pacific Center - Berkeley - The Pacific Center is a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) community center serving the East Bay and Greater Bay Area that offers a broad array of human and health services for LGBT people of all ages and backgrounds.

The Lambda Youth Project, Hayward - The Lambda Youth Project serves needs of LGBTQQ youth as well as their friends and families. It provides a safe place for young people to explore feeling and connect with other young people, and creates drug/alcohol free activities and events.

SMAAC, Oakland - SMAAC Youth Center provides a safe space for youth who would otherwise have no such space in their lives. In additional to safe, supervised recreational activities, the Center provides one-on-one mentoring, health education, computer training and access, employment assistance, leadership and facilitation training, counseling and support to these often overlooked youth.

STRANGE, Santa Cruz - STRANGE is a nonprofit youth organization that serves and empowers the multi-racial, intersex, transgender, queer, bisexual, lesbian, gay, and questioning youth of Santa Cruz County and their straight and adult allies. They create safe spaces, which provide opportunities for support, socializing, and activist work to end the social isolation often experienced by these youth and to build a strong community.

The Diversity Center, Santa Cruz - The Diversity Center is a community center dedicated to advancing the causes and priorities of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex and questioning (LGBTIQ) individuals and their allies in Santa Cruz County.

Positive Images, Sonoma County - Positive Images provides a safe space for teens and young adults and provides community educational services for high schools, businesses, community-based organizations, colleges, hospitals, social service departments, and other organizations interested in learning more about the issues facing GLBTQQI youth and young adults.

Spectrum, Marin County - Spectrum hosts and collaborates with a variety of programs, groups and activities for the LGBT community, including Rainbow's End, a facilitated social and support group for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning youth ages 14-19 that meets weekly for fun, discussion, and support.

The GSA Network, based in San Francisco, serves all of California - Gay-Straight Alliance Network is a youth-led organization that connects school-based Gay-Straight Alliances (GSAs) to each other and community resources. Through peer support, leadership development, and training, GSA Network supports young people in starting, strengthening, and sustaining GSAs and builds the capacity of GSAs to:

• create safe environments in schools for students to support each other and learn about homophobia and other oppressions
• educate the school community about homophobia, gender identity, and sexual orientation issues
• fight discrimination, harassment, and violence in schools

Resources for queer parents and parents with queer children (adult and teen children)
Colage - Exists to engage, connect, and empower people to make the world a better place for children of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and/or transgender parents and families.

PFLAG San Jose Chapter - Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) promotes the health and well-being of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered persons, their families and friends through: support, to cope with an adverse society; education, to enlighten an ill-informed public; and advocacy, to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights. Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays provides opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation and gender identity, and acts to create a society that is healthy and respectful of human diversity.

Transgender specific organizations, local and national
The word "transgender" is an umbrella term that includes female and male cross dressers, transvestites, drag queens and kings, female and male impersonators, intersexed individuals, pre-operative, post-operative and non-operative transsexuals, masculine females, feminine males, all persons whose perceived gender or anatomical sex may be incongruent with their gender expression, and all persons exhibiting gender characteristics and identities which are perceived to be androgynous.

Transgender Law Center, San Francisco - The Transgender Law Center (TLC) is a civil rights organization advocating for transgender communities. They connect transgender people and their families to technically sound and culturally competent legal services, increase acceptance and enforcement of laws and policies that support California's transgender communities, and work to change laws and systems that fail to incorporate the needs and experiences of transgender people.

Transgender San Francisco - TransGender San Francisco is a non-profit corporation dedicated to serving the educational, social, and recreational needs of the transgendered community. TGSF is also dedicated to educating the general public about transgenderism and promoting a positive image of transgendered persons among the general public. The transgendered community includes all transgendered persons, their family and friends, and anyone with a sincere interest in the transgendered.

Youth TIES, SF Bay Area - Youth Trans & Intersex Education Services (Youth TIES) is a youth-led organization advocating for trans, gender-variant, intersex and questioning (TGIQ) youth. They address the challenges facing TGIQ youth in the San Francisco Bay Area by educating the service providers who work with them, and providing TGIQ youth with information and referrals.

Gender.ORG - Gender Education and Advocacy (GEA) is a national organization focused on the needs, issues and concerns of gender variant people in human society. They seek to educate and advocate for all human beings who suffer from gender-based oppression in all of its many forms.

And for parents with gender variant children
The Gender Development Program (GDP) provides outpatient psychosocial evaluations and therapeutic services for children, adolescents and their families. The program focuses on gender variant behaviors and gender or sexual identity development. The GDP also assists children with these issues and co-occurring mental health disorders, as well as provides psychosocial consultation for children with medical genital conditions.

Photo credit: rt69

Labels: GLBT

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