A Boy Crisis?

My daughter cut an interesting article out of the PARADE magazine for me a few weeks ago entitled, "Does America Have a Boy Crisis?" which really surprised both of us, and has made for several very interesting discussions about school and gender.

The article had caught her eye because it had a little quiz:

• At your school, do most boys do as well academically as girls?
• Are boys more disorganized than girls?
• If there really is a boy crisis, what is the best solution?
• Boys-only schools?
• More male teachers?
• Different schedules?
• Tutors?
• Other

Now, she was not pretending to be an expert as she attends a girls-only school and her closest male friend just scored 99th percentile across every category of the PSAT, but hey, this looked interesting.

The article suggested that girls outperform boys on high school report cards, get higher GPAs in college, and actually attend college more often than males. The article suggested that these outcomes are due, in part, to the fact that boys (in general) seem more unorganized than girls, are uninterested in homework, do not turn things in on time, do poorly on standardized tests and find it difficult to get their college applications completed.

It would suggest to me that our education system may have a "female" bias toward verbal skills and if you think about it, sitting still, listening, and writing are very "female," characteristics and probably not the best situation for males who prefer activity and spontaneity. I look forward to comments.

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Labels: Boys, Healthline

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Males, Romance and Success

Thanks to a comment on my last post about boys and romance, I set out last week to find more information about males and romance, and found a number of interesting studies. There are many studies on adolescents focus on peer interactions and relationships, but less is known about boys dating experiences than is known about how girls experience relationships. Many professionals believe that although boys are more confident when starting romantic relationships, they are less emotionally involved, and in fact basically start relationships for sex, versus girls who want romance and love.

One 2006 study published by Giordano, Longmore & Manning in the the American Sociological Review suggests something quite different - including the fact that boys are not more confident, and in fact are as emotionally engaged as females. Another study published in the Journal of Adolescent Research explored how males construct intimacy, and a third study published in Gender Issues suggested men were more willing than females to sacrifice achievement goals for a romantic relationship.

This evidence seems to suggest that there may be more to males and relationships than we know and that there is a need for more updated research, as well as resources. Males need support in relationships and some coaching on developing emotional relationships, just like girls. We may be doing a great disservice to males if we do not expect the depth of emotions we expect from teen girls.

I wonder if these results reflect a shift away from the "me" focus and a shift toward "other" and attachment. I hear more and more people talking about feeling alienated from partners, family, neighbors, community, state, and even country - and it makes me think we are about to participate in a swing back toward relationships and "others." I guess we shall see!

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Labels: Boys, Relationships

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Teen Boys and Romance

My heart goes out to every teenage boy who has ever withered under the disappointed glare of a girlfriend or thrown his hands up with a pleading "what do you want from me?" It is not that they do not feel the emotions of teen love, or want with every fiber of their existence to make their partners swoon, it is simply a matter of having not read the correct books!

I am serious! How much better off would every teenage boy be for having read the love stories that preteen and teen girls thrive on? How is a teenage boy supposed to understand the allure of "as his lips brushed her neck," or "his gaze burned into her soul," or "I watched him stare at her retreating figure, as if she was his reason for existing?" This is the stuff love is made of for teenage girls and their poor boyfriends, do not have a clue!

Maybe if English teachers required classes to read the Twilight Series from Stephenie Meyer, and the Earth's Children series by Jean Auel, they could get read these books without being teased by peers and finally understand what teen girls are waiting for! It would be quite the popular male who knew the secrets of these romance books!

Resources:
We're Talking Teen Health has a page of resources about male health that you may find useful.

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Labels: Boys, Relationships

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Boys: The Teens We Ignore

While looking for other information about teens and health care I found a great article at Tolerance.org entitled, "Guiding our sons from boyhood to manhood - Paul Kivelidentifies four things every emerging man needs." It was an interesting read and an opportunity to think about the fact that so much adolescent research and thought goes into adolescent girls, and that there is very little work around boys and their particular issues.

Mr Kivel addresses the age-old dilemma about whether to let "boys be boys," or help them to become strong, creative, caring, and healthy men. Not raising boys, I am struck by how difficult this must be for a parent. Raising men whose gender roles are flexible, who is confident, and yet sensitive, but not teased as a sissy, or momma's boy, sounds like quite a challenge. There is a lot of social and media influence suggesting that "to be a man," boys should not cry, or back down, are in control, take charge, are responsible, have a lot of sex, and desire to have a lot of money. In his article, Mr. Kivel suggests that whenever boys try to act differently, there are many cultural pressures to stick with the stereotypes.

I am wondering how difficult it is to actually discuss with boys the gender role training they are receiving both at home and from media, books, movies, peers, and sports. As a parent, I find it easy to guide my daughters - they see me taking care of others, balancing my responsibilities between family and work, volunteering at their school, doing community service, and taking care of myself. It is part of my daily life and theirs to worry about others, talk about things, and share our feelings. Is that so much different when raising boys?

In the article, Mr. Kivel suggests that boys need to practice expressing their feelings; a chance to nurture; someone to talk with about the hard stuff; and a chance to make a difference in their community. The burden is on parents to make sure that their sons are being allowed to just focus on sports and traditionally male endeavors, they must be given an opportunity to nurture a pet or younger siblings, express their feelings through art, music, dance, or via dialogue, and get involved with community service in a meaningful way, not just to satisfy a community service requirement for college entrance.

I send blessings to parents raising boys - I hope you have a lot of support!

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Labels: Boys, Parenting

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Teen Boys and Healthcare

Men, particularly young adult men, access health care less often than females. A recent study about adolescent males and health care published in Pediatrics looked at different things that predict adolescent male health care. Data from the National Survey of Adolescent Males conducted between 1988 and 1991 was used to conclude that efforts to increase male adolescent's health care access should increase the number of teens with health insurance, modify masculine stereotypes, improve parental communication about health, and target teens at risk for health problems.

The study reported that more than half of the 15-19 year-old males were sexually active, and 20% of them had two or more risk behaviors, such as drinking, smoking, using cocaine, having been diagnosed with a sexually transmitted infection, or forcing someone else to have sex. Unfortunately, the teens with these risk factors were no more likely than teens without that risk to have had a physical exam within the last year.

I found it interesting that adolescent males who participated in this project and held traditional beliefs about what it means to "be a man," found it unmanly to see a doctor. The author' s suggestion that we work to modify masculine stereotypes is a good one, but I wonder if those stereotypes are as rigid today as they were when the data was collected.

The group of males who were the most likely to have had an examination were those who discussed sexual issues with their parents, and who had health insurance. We know that mothers communicate more about sex, and in this study communication with both parents was associated with more health care, but in males with traditional gender beliefs, talking to their fathers about reproductive health was particularly important.

Developing a pattern of regular preventive health care should be one of the habits learned by teens, and parents scan support that process by talking with teens, encouraging them to learn how to make appointments, and encouraging a relationship with their primary care provider that is positive and friendly.

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Labels: Boys, Health Care

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Are Males Dominant, Disconnected, and Dangerous?

Here is a little more evidence to help you monitor what your kids are being exposed to at home or day care, via movies. A 2006 research brief commissioned by the See Jane Program at Dads & Daughters suggests that G-rated movies are portraying males outnumbering females, seldom in significant relationships, and as physically aggressive. The report, "G Movies Give Boys a D," includes results from the content analysis of the 101 top-grossing G-rated movies released from 1990 through 2004 conducted by the Annenberg School for Communication (ASC) at the University of Southern California (USC).

This report analyzed 4,249 speaking characters in both animated and live-action films finding 72% of the characters were male and mostly white male characters with non-white characters portrayed as more aggressive, isolated, and most often as sidekicks, comic relief, or villains. In addition, G-rated films do not frequently show males as parents, or as partners in committed relationships, providing a notable lack of positive role models in a society with high rates of divorce and absent fathers.

Given this unequal and unrealistic portrayal of males, not only are children learning that it is better to be male, they are also likely to adopt the perception of males as aggressive - not good for boys or girls. What we need are characters that are perceived as courageous for standing up against sexism and violence!

The next time you watch a movie with your children, you can pay attention to the characters, discussing the portrayal of both male and female characters, pointing out the lack of diversity or accuracy, helping protect them from adopting negative stereotypes. You can also point out positive examples of characters treating each other with dignity and respect, for example, the cooperation between the siblings in "The Last Mimzy," which is the best movie I have seen lately, fine for kids, but rated PG."

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Labels: Boys, Media

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Manorexia: Males and Eating Disorders

A recent parenting tip from commonsense media reported that 25% of anorexics and bulimics, as well as 40% of binge eaters were men. Unlike females, who just want to be thin, men involved with recent research at Harvard cite a desire to have chiseled bodies and "six-pack" abs like those of famous TV and movie stars and athletes.

To help our teens resist unhealthy ways of obtaining perfect bodies, commonsense media suggested we do a number of things:

• Tell our teens that few men actually look like those famous people, and if they do it is with a lot of support, work, in some cases, surgery, and money;
• Ask our kids about their friends risky behavior including disordered eating, steroid use, and over exercising;
• Watch for signs of eating disorders including drastically changing eating patterns, vomiting, sudden weight loss, large muscle growth, and a jump in exercising time.

A newer, and less accepted form of disordered eating is called "orthorexia" and manifests as a fixation with only eating food that is healthy or organic. Not a bad thing unless the need to eat well becomes the primary focus of life and eating must be balanced by excessive exercise. If you are concerned about your teen's eating, make an appointment with your child's doctor immediately. The earlier intervention begins, the more likely it is to be successful.

Online Reources: National Eating Disorders Association; Healthline; We're Talking Teen Health

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Labels: Body Image, Boys, Eating Disorders

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