Freedom is Associated with Less Sexual Activity

Authoritarian parents take note - a new study in the Journal of Adolescent Health suggests that teens with more flexible parents are actually less likely to start having sex than teens with rigid and controlling parents.

Warm, more democratic relationships - in which parents do not use negative and controlling behaviors - are more likely to produce children who respect the parental values, making healthier decisions about their health, and keep away from negative peer influences.

Of course, this is not a controlled study but it appears that parents who talk to their children about sexuality, using condoms, and birth control, as well as spend time with them and are nurturing and supportive have children less likely to engage in sexual abehavior.

Photo credit: Dazzie D

Labels: Healthline, Parenting, Sexuality

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Thank You - Grand Rounds 4.45

Thanks to Edwin Leap at EdwinLeap.com for hosting Grand Rounds 4.45 this week and including my post about sending teens off to college. It was interesting to read answers to Dr. Leap's question of "why do we do it," which helped me answer the question, too.

I do this blog because I think people who are raising teens need support, attention and encouragement to feel blessed that they can spend each day with teens - who are creative, intelligent, and magical beings!

Photo credit: EdBierman

Labels: College, Grand Rounds, Healthline, Parenting

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Dating Violence in the News

A recent study described in the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry suggests that 3 percent of 12-to-17-year-old girls and 0.6 percent of boys report being physically or sexually assaulted by a romantic partner or date. These results do not include being slapped or verbally abused, which would push those rates up much higher.

Teens at greater risk for experiencing violence in their relationships are those with a history of stressful traumatic events like losing a sibling, parent or friend. Because we know who may be at risk, we could target teens the most at risk for relationship violence with prevention messages that help them develop healthy teen relationships. The authors also suggest that all teens be taught how to report violence experienced by friends.

The consequences of being exposed to relationship violence includes being four times more likely to experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or major depression.

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Labels: Healthline, Relationship Violence, Teen Health

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Book Review: The Launching Years (Part 1)

The Launching Years: Strategies for Parenting from Senior Year to College Life, by Laura Kastner and Jennifer Wyatt is a must read for parents of juniors or seniors in high school, as well as parents of college-aged young adults. With steadfast encouragement these authors give practical suggestions for doing a great job launching your teens, not just coping with the problems that sometimes creep into our families during this exciting period of life.

There was so much information in this book that I decided to have two reviews. This first section is for parents of high school students, and Part 2 will be for parents of college-aged children. The only "issue" I had with the book is that it describes the college process and launching as occurring in the senior year, which I disagree with. Launching, and preparing a child to leave home with all of the assets they will need to be successful really needs to start much earlier, and the launching process for college-bound youth really needs to begin in the junior year of high school. Pushing all of the college-preparation activities into senior year demands a crisis!

Apart from that, I think the authors did a great job identifying how important this phase of parenting is, and how little attention and support parents get during this challenging time. They also describe the barriers to successful launching, from both the child and parent perspectives, and provide comfort and practical strategies to overcome the typical hurdles. There are suggestions for how to mitigate the stress associated with college applications, and what to do when college-bound teens suddenly get clingy, dependent or rebellious.

Some of the reassurances that may calm parents of younger teens include the fact that with over 3,000 accredited colleges in the United States, there will be a spot for your child. Students with a C average can actually be admitted to more than 1,000 colleges, and B students can attend all but the top 200 schools! Other encouraging facts are that "where" a person goes to college seems to be less important to success than the number of years spent in higher education and the actual completion of the degree.

Instead of worrying about "where" a child goes to college the authors suggest parents focus on:

• Whether teens are building strong interests both within and outside of school;
• How motivated a teen is;
• Whether a teen know how to take advantage of whatever resources are available;
• Whether a teen is engaged, aware, resilient, responsible and committed to living a productive life; and
  
• What goals and values a teen is reflecting with their behavior.

There are great stories about real families, with real, not perfect children, and gentle reminders to handle our own personal issues outside of our relationships with our children that will bolster all parents. There is a section about the ADHD child, gap years, alternatives to college, boomerang teens who need some more time at home before going off to school, and even teens who seem to go off the deep end while preparing to launch. Basically, this book includes something for everyone.

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Labels: College, Healthline, Parenting

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Cell Phones and Cancer Risk

Okay, this is scary! Dr.Ronald Herberman, director of the University of Pittsburgh Cancer Institute has created quite a stir by issuing a warning to his (approximately 3,000) faculty and staff suggesting they should limit cell phone use because of the possible risk of cancer.

The risk is based on the fact that cell phones emit a form of electromagnetic radiation in doses between that of TVs and microwaves. He believes children and teens should only use cell phones for emergencies because their brains are still developing. He also warns all people to use headsets or speaker phones, and not to use cell phones in public places because we are exposing others to the electromagnetic radiation.

This warning is in spite of the lack of research linking cancer and cell phone use, but he mentions unpublished findings that support his statement and is convinced that we "cannot wait for science" and need to protect ourselves, and our children from the risks!

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Thank You - Grand Rounds 4.44

Thanks to Allen at GruntDoc for hosting Grand Rounds 4.44 (the 200th Edition) this week and including my post about Youth and Exercise.

This week was very interesting - lots of great stories and ideas. I especially loved Kim's suggestion about a league of our own!

Photo credit: Ed Bierman

Labels: Grand Rounds, Healthline

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Abusive Relationships

A recent report from Teenage Research Unlimited that was sponsored by Liz Claiborne and loveisrespect.org included some disturbing findings last week. The findings stated that young females are at risk for being abused in relationships, particularly those who start being sexually active early (at or before age 14).

In addition, and more bothersome to me, was that in spite of the fact that many teens report being abused in relationships or knowing someone who has been abused in relationships, most did not know the warning signs for unhealthy relationships or what to do if a friend was being abused by a romantic partner.

If you are wondering if your relationship is healthy, ask yourself if the other person:

• Puts you down?
• Gets extremely jealous or possessive?
• Constantly checks up on you?
• Tells you how to dress?
• Tries to control what you do and who you see?
• Has big mood swings?
• Makes you feel nervous (like you are walking on eggshells)?
• Criticizes you?
• Threatens to hurt you?

If the answer to any of those things was yes, talk to someone about this relationship and be aware that it might not be a healthy relationship for you. Love is respect operates the National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline (1-866-331-9474).

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Labels: Healthline, Relationship Violence

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Summer Camp & Independence

Well it is summer again and if your kids are lucky, they are preparing for summer camp. Our family favorite is the old-fashioned camp - crafts, campfires, silly songs, talent shows, mess halls, pools, and ropes courses.

Preparation means writing your last name on everything, deciding which clothes and towels you never need to use again, buying aloe vera gel for sunburns, biodegradable soap, Costco sized sunscreen, enough toiletries for everyone to take some, and my favorite, bug sprays - from 99% deet for spraying at the bottom of pants and around the edges of bedding to 30% deet for arms. legs, and scalps!

If this is your child's first time at camp, last summer's post about preparing your child for being away from home might be useful. If your child is a seasoned camper, they are probably just excited, but I encourage you not to let them pack by themselves. I cannot tell you how many times I say, "are you packed?" and the answer is "yes," and then I march in, ask for the packing list, and as my child puts stuff in the suitcase, I start down the list, "14 pairs of underwear," "check," "14 pairs of socks," "check," "7 pairs of pants," "check," "7 pairs of shorts," "check," "2 towels," "oops," "sleeping bag," "oh I'll get that," and it goes down hill from there!

"Packed" seems to be a relative term to teenagers, so beware! Nothing will help you worry less than knowing you watched the important things go into the suitcase! Remember if they are traveling alone to get to the airport early, request a gate pass to walk them to the gate through security, and have them show you their passport, boarding tickets, money, etc... before you leave them.

Apart from knowing they have the "things" they need, if you are the parent of a junior or senior in high school, preparing for your teen being away this summer may bring up some anxiety about how close you are to having your teen leave home for college. As teens get older, they also are gone for longer periods of time, which adds to our anxiety. Try hard not to let it show - teens need our support and encouragement - and they may already be nervous.

For parents of the older teens trying to get your kids ready for two to four weeks away at camp, I send peaceful blessings! I know this phase of parenting is tough, but remember, this is our job - we are supposed to prepare them to be independent and happy adults. Helping them manage being away from home for a couple of weeks is a good trial for leaving home and being away for months at a time.

You can send them with the required summer reading, laundry soap and money for free time, remind them to take their vitamins and floss their teeth, and not lose their retainer, but then, you sit back and let them grow up. They will forget the bug spray until they get bit, forget the sunscreen until they burn, choose not to floss for a while, and forget to sort the clothes when doing laundry, but they need to learn.

They will also miss you, even if they never say it, so remember to plan ahead and send letters so they get them during camp - but no pictures - that might make them cry!

Have fun and remember to ask them to teach you a silly camp song when they return - next year you can hum it while they are gone!

photo credit: boltron-

Labels: Healthline, Parenting, Travel

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Stigma and Teen Pregnancy

Yesterday I spoke with a reporter about teen pregnancy and have been stewing over something she said ever since. She suggested that the "teen pregnancy" media in the last year or so, including films like Knocked Up and Juno, Jamie Lynn's pregnancy, and even the teens making a pact to get pregnant, might actually help reduce the stigma around teen pregnancy, and wouldn't that be a good thing?

The stigma around teen pregnancy facilitates people not talking about sexually active teens, teens not getting in to see doctors so they have adequate prenatal care and real options, illegal abortions, pregnant girls dropping out of school, and a host of consequences to the children of teen parents. None of those things are good - true!

If there was no stigma - if we acknowledged that "it just happens," would people get the information they need about teen pregnancy? Would the fact that teen moms get less education and have babies with more health concerns become everyday knowledge? Would parents talk to kids about the power and pleasure of sex in light of the emotional and physical risks or preventing diseases and unwanted pregnancy? Would schools have day care centers, would employers give extra money to families with small children to cover day care costs? Would teens go to their doctors more frequently and as soon as they start being sexually active - to be screened for infection and start reliable birth control?

I have to say that I am not so sure reducing the stigma is a good thing, or that any of those possible benefits would happen because if the stigma disappeared because as a society we are still in denial about the impact of our sexualized media. We do not want more teens having babies, and we do need parents to talk to their kids about not having sex, using barrier methods to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections if they are sexually active, and going to the doctor to get screened for chlamydia. We need comprehensive sexuality education in schools and for our society to stop sexualizing young girls and being surprised when they become sexually active. We also need the media to be a little more responsible by adding some scenes of regret about not using a barrier method, or better yet - the use of barrier methods! We can make a difference!

Photo credit: Rob!

Labels: Healthline, Pregnancy, Teen Health

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Youth Need More Exercise

I am as serious as a heart attack! Given all the press about the growing obesity rates, particularly in children, at one time or another all of us have probably thought our families needed a healthier diet and more exercise, and we were right.

Last week the American Academy of Pediatrics recommended that children from families with a history of heart disease and high cholesterol be screened for high cholesterol every 3-5 years after the age of two, and that cholesterol-reducing drugs (called statins) be considered for children as young as eight!

Everyone knows that obesity is related to higher risks for Type 2 Diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, and stroke, but for some reason, we are ignoring these risks and our children may pay a very steep price.

The best way to prevent all of these health outcomes is to eat well and get at least an hour of exercise each day, so step away from the computer and get active!

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Labels: Fitness, Healthline, Teen Health

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Families Struggle to Make Ends Meet

Do you know that a job making minimum wage ($8) brings in an annual salary of $16,640? A parent with two children living in the San Francisco Bay Area would need to work three full-time minimum wage jobs just to make ends meet.

The updated 2008 California Family Economic Self-Sufficiency Standard reports that the median self-sufficiency standard for the state of California has increased by $14,420 for a family of three while the minimum wage has increased by only $2,600, leaving most families unable to meet the cost of basic needs. When I say basic, I mean basic - housing, food, utilities, child care, health care, and transportation.

So, what does it cost to live in the SF Bay Area? Well, if a family lives in Marin County, the self-sufficiency standard is $73,576. If you live in Solano County, you can "get by" with $54,668! Santa Clara County is $68,430 and Santa Cruz County is $65,726. So, in Santa Clara County, a single adult with two kids would have to make at least $33 an hour just to cover the basics!

We are in so much trouble! No wonder families cannot provide health insurance, medications, clothes, and school supplies to their kids, and the credit debt in our country is skyrocketing! How can we focus on our families when we have to struggle to make ends meet?

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Labels: Financial Education, Healthline, Parenting

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Staycations with Teens

Last month when my teens and I were planning our road trip to do community service at our beloved wolf sanctuary (Howling Acres) and to see the University of Oregon, at Eugene, which is on my eldest daughter's short list for college, I heeded my own advice and "checked in" with them about how excited they were about the trip.

What they said surprised me, and led to a radically different vacation. My teens were thinking that with camps and half the summer spent with their other parent, the two weeks we would be traveling were their only two weeks at home this summer and they were thinking maybe they would rather stay home!

After I picked my jaw up off the floor, my teens and I joined the thousands of families in the United States this summer who, faced with very busy school year schedules, rising gas prices, an uncertain economy, and one income that does not seem to go as far as it used to, decided to stay at home instead of taking our annual summer vacation.

We made a list of all of the cool places in the San Francisco Bay Area that we had not visited ever or recently, activities we wanted to do including an all day Monopoly game, days with friends, the beach, baking pies, picking blackberries, visiting IFly, and then developed a calendar in which we could sleep late, eat out a lot, and do at least one thing someone wanted to do each day.

We are one week into our "staycation" and I have to say we are all relaxed, happy, well into our summer reading books, and completely enjoying our family time. My house has seen better days, and there is a lot of laundry to do next week, but I recommend this to everyone!

Here's to lazy summer days!

Photo credit: guldfisken

Labels: Healthline, Parenting, Travel

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Thank You - Grand Rounds 4.42

Thanks to The Blog that Ate Manhattan for hosting Grand Rounds 4.42 this week and including a post about women and sleep from Teen Health 411.

This week was really interesting, and as someone who does not watch Seinfeld, I loved all the funny clips!

Photo credit: edbierman

Labels: Grand Rounds, Healthline, Sleep

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Fungus Among Us!

Just a reminder that as teens get older, and some get more modest, you may see less of their bodies, therefore they need to know how to recognize and treat assorted fungus they may pick up at school, the gym, or the pool. Specifically, athletes foot and ringworm, which for some reason I have heard more about lately.

Ringworm is actually NOT a worm, but a term used to describe a fungal infection of the skin. It typically looks like a pink raised area in the shape of an “O” or “C” with a scaly or flaky edge – looking very much like a worm that may be under the skin. But it’s not. It’s just a fungus called “tinea” that normally lives on your skin, and is not a problem unless it multiplies rapidly.

Athletes foot is usually diagnosed because of cracked, peeling and flaking skin between the toes. The skin can be red and itchy, too. You are more at risk if you wear closed shoes, sweat a lot, or have a cut. You can prevent it by wearing flip flops in public showers, as well as keeping your feet clean and dry.

Warm, moist conditions are what make the fungus grow, or breaks in the skin. You can also get the fungus from someone else – from dirty clothes, infected combs, and skin-to-skin contact - gym class, pools or gym shower floors are common places to pick it up. Cats and dogs can also carry the fungus.

You can try to prevent getting this infection by making sure you don’t touch someone who has tinea, until they have been treated, making sure that you change out of sweaty, damp exercise clothes to dry clothes as soon as possible, and wear flip-flops at the pool or the gym shower.

The infection is easily treated with an antifungal cream - the kind they treat athlete's foot with - which you can get at any pharmacy without a prescription. Using the cream 1-2 weeks until there is no sign of the problem usually gets rid of the infection.

Photo credit: THRILLHO

Labels: Healthline, Teen Health

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Women and Sleep

There was an interesting article 7/3/08 in Ms.Magazine by Gayle Greene suggesting that trouble sleeping may be related to fluctuating hormones, which can be more difficult to deal with than usual, at several particular points in a woman's life. In particular, Ms. Greene reported that twice as many women have trouble sleeping than men and that about 67% of women report frequently having trouble sleeping.

Of course, we know that stress can lead to insomnia, as can being poor, subjected to violence, being hot, or eating or exercising too close to bedtime. However, Ms. Greene suggests that we also sleep worse when our hormones are fluctuating - at menarche, during puberty when surges of estrogen and progesterone occur, and the estrogen increases cortisol levels, promoting a stress response, before our periods start, after childbirth, and during menopause.

One way that the fluctuating hormones impact sleep is because changes in hormone levels make us hot - hot flashes for sure, but did you know that women with PMS have higher body temperatures, as do women taking birth control pills?

There are some interesting facts about women and sleep at the National Sleep Foundation as well as some good sleep tips for everyone.


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Labels: Healthline, Sleep, Teen Health

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Abortion: When Denial is Not the Best Choice

Putting aside any values, religious beliefs and thoughts about what is "right," it is important that teens understand their medical choices if they do become, or get someone pregnant.

I know that denial works in some situations and teens who are afraid of their parents knowing that they had sexual intercourse may try very hard to hope that the missed periods do not mean they are pregnant, but there are some very important time considerations to take into account.

If a medical or surgical abortion is an option for a woman, she needs to understand that a non-surgical, or medical abortion can be done within seven weeks from the first day of the woman's last menstrual period, or within three weeks of missing one period. A medical abortion is done with medicine (mifepristone or RU486) that end the pregnancy and a second medicine (misoprostol) causes the uterus to empty. It may take up to a few days for a woman to abort, and it is not uncommon to bleed for up to four weeks.

A surgical or aspiration abortion is usually done between six and sixteen weeks of pregnancy and uses a vacuum to remove the fetus. The longer the woman is pregnant, the more complicated the abortion and the higher the risks, so making a decision quickly is important. After 16 weeks after the last period, and D & E - dilation (of the cervix) and evacuation (of the uterus) will be done. After 24 weeks, abortions are only performed for serious health concerns. All surgical abortions will include antibiotics to prevent infection.

If you are pregnant, please go to your doctor or a local Planned Parenthood Clinic to discuss your options. The longer you wait, the fewer options you have.

Photo credit: Brittany G

Labels: Abortion, Healthline, Teen Health

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