The First Day at Work - for Teens and Parents

For teens, congratulations - you have done it - you have a job and today is the first day! Take a deep breath, be early and enthusiastic. Remember that every person working where you work now had a first day and will understand when you have questions and worries. Do not be shy - ask away. It is better to ask then do things incorrectly. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

• Be clear with your manager about how many hours you think you can work each week and still get your homework done;
• Ask for the combination of after school and weekend hours that you think will work for you;
• If you work in the food industry, like many teens, ask if you get a free meal each day;
• Ask for a break after four hours;
• If there is a tip jar, ask how the tips get divided each day;
• Know when paydays are, if you have to complete a time sheet, and when the schedule is posted each week; and finally,
• Do not call to ask when you are working the following week - go by and write your schedule down.

Welcome to the world of us working stiffs - enjoy the first paycheck, sense of accomplishment and the freedom that comes with growing up!

For parents, remember that your teen does not know business etiquette and is trying to make a good first impression. The type of job s/he has may also be very different and she may not know when s/he is working until each week starts. Be tolerant when s/he does not ask for a day off knowing a family event or school performance is coming up, do not be critical when they wash dishes for an entire shift, or volunteer to take an extra shift for someone, or do not know the answers to your questions. We have been working for many years and things that seem logical and easy to us make intimidate your teen.

Try to see the world through their eyes - their peers have been working longer, seem more competent, and seem to know exactly what is going on - and your son or daughter does not want to rock the boat. Encouragement and love will go a lot further than pushy and critical - let them learn slowly and make a few mistakes - it will not be the end of the world. Finally, help them be proactive about finding a balance between school, work, family and social time - we all know how hard it can be, and avoiding teenage meltdowns is always a good thing.

Congratulations to you, the parent, too, this is a milestone for you, as well.

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Labels: Employment, Healthline, Parenting

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Thank You - Grand Rounds 4.32

Thank you Doc Gurley for hosting Grand Rounds 4.32 this week and including my post about parents and teen media. The WWF theme was amazingly fun to read and bloggers really "put out" in response to the call to beat their chests!

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New Media In The Everyday Lives of Youth

I went to the public forum presented by commonsense media and the MacArthur Foundation at Stanford last Wednesday and was pleasantly surprised by the range of information presented during the two hours, particularly that it was primarily qualitative. Sadly, after a 12-hour day I had to get home to kids and missed the reception, but the conversations started in the forum were very interesting.

Basically, the MacArthur Foundation, under the competent guidance of Connie Yowell has funded a tremendous amount of research about how digital technologies and new media are changing the way that young people learn, socialize, and participate in civic life. I should probably admit here that I am one who usually is arguing in favor of turning off the TV, the computer, the phone, and anything else that pulls teens away from families, free time, and old-fashioned "face time."

What surprised me Wednesday was that some of the character-building experiences I associated with real-time face-to-face contact may actually be occurring while kids are mixing music, making videos, or publishing on fanfiction sites. I found the "presentation of self" on social networks research by Danah Boyd (UC Berkeley) really interesting and wished that the research presented in the first half of the presentation was being integrated more by the media and technology leaders present in the panel discussion.

I walked away with two very strong feelings. First, more work needs to be done to connect different generations via media - children and teens need (safe, supportive, asset-building) relationships with older people to grow, expand their realities, and learn skills they will need in their futures. With media being second nature to the current generation, we need more tools to bring those of us who are older into the conversation, in a painless way, that does not make us feel stupid, I might add. Related to that, there is some immediate parent-education to be done about not only Internet Safety, and how to keep boundaries, so that kids are not forgoing sunshine, nutrition and exercise for excessive screen time, but also about the benefits of media, and how publishing a story on a fanfiction site, may be as beneficial to the self-esteem of a "non-cookie cutter teen" as being a star athlete is to another teen.

Here is the chest-beating: Parents need to start engaging in the media that our children participate in. We used to say watch the TV shows your kids are watching, listen to their music ... but the world has changed and now we need to add, visit their social network sites, read their online writing or blogging. Do not be afraid of appearing stupid - just accept it and move through it - our children need us present where they are learning about the world and themselves! We cannot fight progress!

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Labels: Healthline, Media, Parenting

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A Parenting Book That Could Change Your Life

OK, I know, I sound like an infomercial, but I am serious. How does never being angry at your teenager again sound? How about raising happy and responsible children? Who could not want to experience those things?

Dr. Greg Baer, the author of "Real Love in Parenting," thinks he can teach you the way to raise wonderful children and be a happier person in the process. I tell you, I keep looking for something to be suspicious about this guy, but I am in the middle of my second book and am loving it.

I do not think I have a read a book that impacted so much of my life since I was in college. This book is also having an effect on my kids. I keep reading sections out loud and both kids really enjoy what this man has to say.

The basic premise is that people need to know they are unconditionally loved, and as parents we think we do love our children unconditionally, until you read this book and start to realize how much of our connection is conditional - and not about our children, at all.

There are definitely some things you will not like, for example, he believes that most of us are woefully unprepared to be parents and that our lack of parenting skills is the reason we have rebellious, angry, disobedient children. The nice part of his message is that we need to forgive ourselves - because no one has ever taught us to be good parents and we cannot give away what we do not have.

He describes our children as suffering, and believes that if we feel loved and love our children, we will never be disappointed or angry at them again. He illustrates the truth in this over and over with real-life situations and solutions. Every family, every parent should read this book.

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Don't forget that Healthline has been nominated for the prestigious Webby Award in the category of “Health." Before April 30th, simply log on to http://peoplesvoice.webbyawards.com/ and vote today!

Labels: Healthline, Parenting

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Thank You: Grand Rounds 4.31

Thank you Dr. Val for hosting Grand Rounds this week and including my post about Sun Safety. There were some great posts this week and I really liked your tagging system!

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Labels: Grand Rounds, Healthline, Tanning

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News for Twilight Fans

Good news Twilight fans. You can purchase "Breaking Dawn," Book #4 in the series by Stephenie Meyer, at Amazon.com, although it will not be delivered until 8/2/08.

Another piece of good news is that "Twilight," the movie based on Book #1 in the series, is expected to be out in theaters 12/12/08. It is currently being filmed at Madison High School in Portland, Oregon. Soon we will be able to see Edward and Bella on the big screen!

The series has now sold more than 5.5 million books in the United States and has been translated into 20 languages published in 34 countries. Preteens and teens make up the majority of Ms. Meyer's slightly fanatical fan base, although I am looking forward to the next book, too!

In the new movie, Robert Pattinson plays Edward, the 180-year old vampire stuck in a 17 year-old body. You may recognize Mr. Pattinson, as he played Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. His co-star is Kristen Stewart.

If you want to provide a review of Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse, please post a comment below. Remember not to use your whole name, but include your age!

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Don't forget that Healthline has been nominated for the prestigious Webby Award in the category of “Health." Simply log on to http://peoplesvoice.webbyawards.com/ and vote today!

Labels: Book Review, Healthline, Hobbies

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Sun Safety

It is time for the summer sun reminder. At least in California, the sun is out and it is easy these beautiful days to stay outside too long, or forget to wear sunscreen. Please be careful with your skin when you are exposed to the sun.

Skin cancer is one of the most insidious, widespread and dangerous forms of cancer. It develops invisibly over the years, primarily through overexposure to the sun's dangerous rays. Two common types of skin cancer are carcinoma and melanoma. It is easy to not think about the damage the sun is doing to your skin when being tan makes most of us feel healthy.

To be sun-safe:

• Keep babies under six months old out of the sun completely.
• Remember to avoid the hottest sun, between 10 AM and 4PM.
• Cover all of your skin with sunscreen, at least SPF 30.
• Apply sunscreen every few hours, and especially after swimming, perspiring, or toweling off.
• Put lipbalm, with SPF 15 on, whenever you are outside.
• Wear a wide-brimmed hat.
• Wear UV protective sunglasses.
  
• Remember that UV rays bounce off concrete, water, sand, and snow.
• Never use tanning beds or sun lamps.

Resources
Sun Safety Alliance

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Don't forget that Healthline has been nominated for the prestigious Webby Award in the category of “Health." Simply log on to http://peoplesvoice.webbyawards.com/ and vote today!

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Vote for Healthline @ The People’s Voice Webby Awards!

Healthline has been nominated for the prestigious Webby Award in the category of “Health."

The International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences will choose Webby Award winners, but the People’s Choice Webby lets you decide. It’s easy:

• Simply log on to http://peoplesvoice.webbyawards.com/
• Register to vote (or log in if you are a returnee)
• After registration, click on the Web site icon and find the Living section, under which the Health category falls
• Vote for Healthline!

And be sure to pass this pass along to your friends and encourage them to vote as well!

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Labels: Healthline, Media

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Internet-Based Hotline to Counsel Abused Young People

The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN.org) has run an anti-sexual-assault telephone hotline for 14 years. Trained operators for RAINN do not press callers for revealing information but connect a person to a local resource, counselor, or authority, when the person is ready. Most other hotlines work the same way because hotlines are frequently the first stop to recovery after cutting, suicidal feelings, abuse, rape, or incest, so they have to be anonymous and non-threatening.

Believing that teens are more comfortable typing on a computer than speaking on the phone, this month RAINN will reach out to a new generation with an anonymous, instant messaging-based hotline. RAINN is one of a growing number of organizations reaching out to young people growing up with video games, cell phones, and the Internet. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline has a page on MySpace that leads 20,000 visitors each month to their website. Sexuality Information Services in Oakland offers teens teens information about sexually transmitted infections via cellphone instant-messaging, and the National Domestic Violence Hotline has both phone and Internet hotlines for teens.

Making it easier for teens to reach out for support is extremely important given the estimates that 46% of teens are victims of partner violence. Communities need to find ways to prevent violence, but also support the victims of violence.

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Labels: Healthline, Relationship Violence, Teen Health

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Grand Rounds 4.30: Thank You

Thank you to Rachel Warden at Women’s Health News for hosting Grand Rounds this week and including my post about IUDs and teens.

This week was interesting, funny and included some of my favorite bloggers!

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Labels: Grand Rounds, Healthline, IUD

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IUDs for Teenagers

To emphasize the "importance of appropriate contraception" for teenagers, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists' (ACOG) Committee on Adolescent Health Care has issued an opinion (#392) that is strongly in favor of providing IUDs to adolescents.

In the opinion statement that addresses common misperceptions about teenagers' use of these devices as well as possible adverse effects and contraindications to use, the committee reviewed data on the safety and efficacy of the IUD and said: "Because adolescents contribute disproportionately to the epidemic of unintended pregnancy in this country, top tier methods of contraception including IUDs ..., should be considered as first-line choices" for them. "After thorough counseling regarding contraceptive options, health care providers should strongly encourage young women who are appropriate candidates to use this method."

In spite of this recommendation, we have heard from teens that their doctors will not provide them with IUDs, so teens may have to call a few doctors before they find one willing to insert an IUD.

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Labels: Birth Control, Healthline, Teen Health

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Treating the Whole Person

The habits we form from childhood make no small difference, but rather they make all the difference. - Aristotle

In education and medicine we struggle to educate and treat the whole person, because it is the whole person walking through a day, a disease, and a life. But what does it mean to take the "whole" person into account? Where do you start if you want to consider a person's intellectual life, relationships, home, job or career, character, parenting, spirituality, leisure activities, happiness, body, and ability to contribute to our society?

Where are the scripts, the behavioral objectives, checklists, and goals? Even if I wanted to, how can I do a "life assessment" on any teen in my life? As a parent, I am finding that even with my own teens, I have to "pick a piece" each day to worry about. Some days I worry about the pressure they feel to "do it all." Other days I worry about their sleep, eating, and exercise patterns, peer relationships, education, spirituality, exercise, and safety habits. But as professionals, aren't we a safety net for the teens we educate or treat? Aren't we somehow more responsible, and held to a higher standard?

I hear the echoes of "give me a break," "no one can do it all," "I am an expert in ____," "that is for someone else to worry about," and "I do not have time," but hey, who does?" If each of us does our "part" in treating the whole person - a doctor makes sure a teen is immunized, the teacher educates the teenager well-enough to get into college, the parents provide the best moral and spiritual base they can, and the community monitors the safety of this imaginary teen at work, who catches them if they fall?

What if a parent is unable to worry about these things? What if a child isn't getting regular medical care and screening? What if a child has no spiritual counseling, and is exposed to violence, or is hopeless and self-destructive? Who is responsible for identifying what is missing and "rescuing" that teen? Who makes sure that the habits they develop in childhood will lead to their happiness and health?

In my way of thinking, "not my department," just isn't in option. Every time we come in contact with a teen, whether it is for 50 minutes in a classroom or 12 minutes in exam room, I think we are morally obligated to look each teenager in the eyes and ask, "how are you?" "who are you?" "what is important to you?" and maybe "what do you think is missing in your life?" Then, we are obligated to follow-up on their answers. Sorry, but sometimes we need a reminder!

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Labels: Healthline, Teen Development

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Eating Disorders and Teens

The term "eating disorders" includes a wide range of illnesses that continue to impact young people, particularly teens. With media personalities who are stick-shaped and the focus on dieting in our culture, children as young as five an six are worrying about what they eat and their size. Puberty is particularly tough on youth who on average gain about 40 pounds and grow about 10 inches during a two-to-three year period. If their family is "image-focused" and worried about weight, puberty tends to be one of the triggers for an eating disorder.

You can help by throwing away the fashion magazines and not judging your teens by their size. Please do not comment on how good people look because they have lost weight, or talk disparagingly about heavy people in front of your teens - they are using that information to judge themselves. If you want to do some reading, below are some young adult titles on eating disorders:

Block, F. L. (2002). Echo.
Greenfield, L. (2006). Thin
Hornbacher, M. (2006). Wasted: A memoir of anorexia and bulimia.
Menzie,M. (2003). Diary of an anorexic girl.
Newman, L. (1996). Fat chance.
Petit, C. (2003). Starving: A personal journey through anorexia.
Petit, C. (2006). Empty: A story of anorexia.
Rio, L. (2003). The anorexia diaries: A mother and daughter's triumph over teenage eating disorders.

Resources
National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA)

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Labels: Eating Disorders, Healthline, Teen Health

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Thank You - Grand Rounds 4.29

Thanks to Dr. Wes Fisher at DrWes for hosting Grand Rounds 4.29 this week and including my poem in tribute to Larry King, a teen killed for being gay.

This week's Grand Rounds was a wonderful way to start my day - and not bad for a cardiologist - tweeners, sex, carbs and eavesdropping - it did get my heart pumping!

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Labels: GLBT, Grand Rounds, Healthline

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Cell Phones and Teen Health

The Journal of Adolescent Health published an article this month describing a pilot study with 15 girls looking at the feasibility of using a GPS-enabled cell phone to track adolescents' whereabouts and study the health risks that teenagers face when not at home or school, and possibly to intervene. The research hopes to develop a way to intervene with teenagers at the time, and in the place, they are likely to make poor health decisions and engage in smoking, drinking, or sexual activity. The cell phones work like diaries, as well, allowing teens to document where they are, with whom and describe the decisions they are making.

Although the goal is not for parents to be able to "track" their kids, I am sure knowing where they were would give some parents security. It would also violate a teens privacy and be a little risky if the "diary" information was not erased forever after it was sent. I also wonder if the text of the health messages could be seen by parents, which would give them a clue as to which risky behaviors their kids were participating in.

All-in-all this concept makes me a little nervous, and I wonder if kids would actually open the text message that got sent in response to a diary entry about a risky situation, or make a different decision because a text message flashed at them saying, "Sara, you are 12 miles from home, is one of your friends the designated driver so you will be able to get home safely?" or "Henry, remember, that in your county, one out of four sexually active teen girls has Chlamydia - is what you are about to do worth the risk?"

Maybe it is a great idea - I would love to see their faces! It would be like carrying your mom around in your pocket.

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Labels: Healthline, Teen Health

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Collge Students and Stress

Stress is actually a pretty normal part of college and adult life. Stress tends to result from balancing different aspects of our lives. Schoolwork has to be done, there are financial worries, extracurricular activities that can add pressure, as well as family issues back home, relationships, friends, work, health, and worrying about getting a job or into graduate school after college. Stress is not always a bad thing - for many of us, it keeps us focused and productive.

Stress can be a problem if you find you cannot sleep, or wake up after a few hours of sleep, do not feel like eating, are feeling too tired to do things you usually enjoy, find yourself pulling away from social activities or friends, or get agitated more easily than usual. If you are experiencing any of those symptoms for more than a few days, it is a good idea to call your college health center and ask about resources for stress.

Most adults develop strategies for coping with stress that include exercise, meditation, or regular activities with friends, which are healthy ways to cope with stress. If you find yourself using drugs, alcohol, or risky sex to manage stress, those behaviors suggest some counseling is in order.

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Labels: College, Healthline, Mental Health

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Emergency Preparedness for Teens Home Alone

I have encouraged parents to put an In Case of Emergency (ICE) number into their children's cell phones, as well as some names of adults you trust to help in an emergency when the parents cannot be reached, but what I forgot was to encourage parents to program in the phone number of your local advice nurse.

As our teens get older and start staying at home alone, or with their siblings, stuff is going to happen, so help them be prepared. All teens should know how to turn off the water, gas, and electricity to your home, as well as know where to find the emergency numbers for the utility company, police, and maybe a neighbor. I also recently learned the hard way that they should know to call the advice nurse at your doctor's office in case of a medical emergency.

The other day my teens were with their "other" parent, who lives in a rural area, and I did not realize they were alone when I answered my cell phone at work with, "hey there terrific kid, I just muted a conference call, so be quick." My eldest was silent a brief second and then asked for a friend's number, because she did not have her cell phone with her. I gave it to her, told her I loved her, and went back to my conference call. That night when I called to say goodnight, my youngest told me that she had experienced a nosebleed from hell that morning that resulted in the bathroom looking like a CSI crime scene, a blood clot that she had to spit out that left her dizzy and pale, and a couple of scared teenagers.

Oh my goodness, I could not believe that my oldest daughter had not told me what was happening when she called, just gotten the number of a local mom who she called, and all was good, but I could not believe she decided to "handle it," so my call would not be disturbed. We talked, the advice nurse number is now programmed in both cell phones, and my oldest is clear that parents need to know what is going on. However, I also realize that from her perspective - it was an adult-like moment - she was trying to honor the fact that I was busy and felt like she could handle it. Sweet girl, rotten idea.

So there you have it. Live and learn, and please give your kids the information they may need to handle a medical emergency.

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Labels: Healthline, Injuries, Parenting, Teen Health

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