Religious Declaration on Sexual Morality, Justice and Healing

The Religious Institute on Sexual Morality, Justice, and Healing is a multifaith organization dedicated to advocating sexual health, education, and justice in faith communities and society. They have developed the Religious Declaration on Sexual Morality, Justice and Healing that is endorsed by more than 2,600 religious leaders from more than 40 faith traditions. I am posting it below for those of you who struggle to combine your religious views with a desire to protect your children from the risks associated with sexuality.





Within the declaration are the following statements:

• Sexuality is God's life-giving and life-fulfilling gift.
• Our faith traditions celebrate the goodness of creation, including our bodies and our sexuality.
• Our culture needs a sexual ethic focused on personal relationships and social justice rather than particular sexual acts.
• God hears the cries of those who suffer from the failure of religious communties to address sexuality.
• Faith communities must therefore be truth seeking, courageous, and just.
• Faith communities must also advocate for sexual and spiritual wholeness in society.

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Grand Rounds 3.23: Thank You

I would like to thank Dinosaur at Musings of a Dinosaur for hosting Grand Rounds 3.23 and for including my post about the sexualization of young girls.

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Substance Abuse: Teens & Young Adults

The National Adolescent Health Information Center (NAHIC) has just released a new fact sheet on Substance Abuse in Adolescents and Young Adults that actually included some good news. Black teens were the least likely to drink and smoke, Asian youth were the least likely to use illicit drugs, and alcohol and cigarette use has declined (slightly) overall since the mid-1990s, while illicit drug use remains about the same.

Now the bad news:

• 20% of 12th graders smokes cigarettes daily (with white youth leading the charge);
• approximately 50% of white and Hispanic 12th graders used alcohol in the past 30 days (with 3 out of 5 12th graders who drink reporting binge drinking); and
• initiation of substance abuse occurs between grades 7 and 10.

It is amazing to me that the number of high school students who smoked in the last 30 days has remained stable (between 25% and 35%) since 1975, in spite of numbers of people dying from lung cancer, the lawsuits, the public service announcements, and the health education in schools.

The most disturbing trend reported was the dramatic increase in the use of MDMA or "ecstasy," which doubled among 12th graders between 1996 and 2001 (from 4.6% to 9.2%). The data also reflect what psychologists and researchers have known for a very long time - the kids who are drinking and smoking cigarettes are also the most likely to be using illicit drugs.

This information should tell us all that this would not be the right time to reduce the amount of health education in schools or families. The message about smoking, drug use, and alcohol use is obviously not getting to many teens. Every parent needs to talk to their kids and encourage them to avoid trying cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs.

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Speaking Out About Adolescent Sexuality

The Reverend Debra Haffner is talking about adolescent sexuality again, and I love it! The Center for American Progress published an article recently in which Reverend Haffner talks about the fact that parents in the United States seem to be raising some of the most sexually confused adolescents in the world. While our movies, advertising, Internet, music, and TV give the message that "everyone is doing it," the federal government and 46 states have policies endorsing abstinence-only until marriage, in spite of the fact that the majority of people have been having sex before marriage for decades. In addition, today's teens reach puberty earlier and marry later than any other generation in history.

The article discusses the "Open Letter to Religious Leaders on Adolescent Sexuality" just released by the Religious Institute on Sexual Morality, Justice, and Healing recognizes the fact that sexuality in most religious communities remains shrouded in silence but that adolescents have the right to full, accurate sexual health information and to be accepted within the faith community regardless of the sexual decisions they have made. The letter also lays out specific actions that faith communities need to take in order to support those rights, which include:

• Supporting parents in teaching children and teens about sexuality;
• Creating an honest, and open environment for discussion of sexuality issues, including age-appropriate sexuality education in the context of faith values;
• Collaborating with community organizations to promote adolescent sexual health; and
• Recognizing the sexual diversity of adolescents in their congregations, including those who are sexually active and those who are gay and lesbian.

Reverend Haffner is calling for religious leaders to accept their responsibility to speak out against educational programs that deny young people the medically accurate information they need to protect themselves and others from sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancy. She also encourages religious leaders to oppose parental notification and consent laws that restrict teens' access to life-saving reproductive health services. She acknowledges that this commitment will be tough for many clergy who have not received any training during their seminary time to address human sexuality issues, but struggle is not new to the church!

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Sexy Girls

Those two words should not be together, but gone are the days of innocence and commitment to protecting young girls from sex. The American Psychological Association (APA) just released a report that calls for the media and advertising to stop sexualizing young girls. The sexualization of girls is so pervasive in our society that it can feel normal for young girls to look like teenagers and for teenagers to look like adults. If you don't believe me, just go shopping for a preteen and try to find something that is not body-hugging, low-cut, too short, or too spangly.

Just in case you are unclear what "sexualization of young girls" really means, a sexualized image suggests sexual availability to the exclusion of other personal characteristics and qualities, which is inappropriate. Two examples are 1) child beauty pageants in which young girls wear make-up and false teeth to replace baby teeth, thong underwear with muppets or phrases like "eye-candy;" and 2) lyrics that include phrases like:"so blow me bitch," "I rock for topless dancers," and "I tell hoes all the time, bitch get in my car."

The APA Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls studied published research on the content and effects of media (including TV, movies, music videos, lyrics, magazines, video games, and the Internet) and found that the consequences of the sexualization of girls in media today are very real and are likely to be a negative influence on girls' healthy development.

Specifically, research evidence shows that sexualization and objectification:

• undermine a person's confidence in and comfort with her own body, leading to emotional and self-image problems, including shame and anxiety;
• are linked to eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression;
• have negative consequences on girls' ability to develop a healthy sexual self-image.

The study also suggests that men may be less likely to be satisfied with their female partners as a result of the unrealistic expectations created by the media portrayal of women. There also seems to be a tie between viewing pornography and sexualizing women. We see this as the questions submitted on our teen site (We're Talking Teen Health) more and more ask questions like why women are "supposed" to shave their genitals, which is obviously coming from partners who view images of women in pornography.

The good news is that parents can play a major protective and educative role and schools should teach media literacy skills to all students and should include information on the negative effects of sexualization of girls in those programs. We can help teens talk about how marketing techniques make girls' and women's bodies look unnatural and focus people's attention on their bodies as if that is all that is valuable about them, but to do this, we have to be engaging in the same media they are experiencing.

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Violent Girls: Who Do You Believe?

Are American girls becoming more violent? I have heard murmuring, and went to explore, but I sure could not decide what I believe. One one hand, the increase in bullying, particularly cyberbullying, and "mean girl" syndrome would support it, but being "mean" is not the same thing as being violent, or is it?

James Garbarino, author of "See Jane Hit: Why Girls Are Growing More Violent and What We Can Do About It," (2006) seems to think that girls are getting more violent, the reports on the news about girls fighting, some of the videos posted on the Internet seem to suggest it, and Cindy Ness, a program director at the John Jay Center on Terrorism and Public Safety, reports that in her study of girls in Philadelphia, fighting is a way of life, but it isn't reported to the police.

According to FBI crime reports, juvenile arrests for crime are down, but girls represent a larger percentage of those arrests. Here at least is one place the gender gap might be closing, but not in a positive way. People who believe that girls are getting more violent cite the breakdown of the family and even women's liberation, as well as the increase of violence portrayed in the media and violent action heroes as possible culprits.

On the other hand, the National Youth Risk Behavior Survey done by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports a 10% decrease in fighting reported by high school girls between 1991 and 2003. The argument challenging the reliability of that data however is that girls are not necessarily fighting at school. In fact, they are more likely to be battling at home (with their mothers by the way), and in their neighborhoods.

So, I throw my hands up and accept that this is an area of teen health that does not seem to have an obvious answer or fix. It cannot hurt any of us however to keep paying attention to violence between teens, identifying aggression as unacceptable, and helping teens develop the skills required to settle conflicts without violence.

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Gay Teens

In keeping with the theme of gay teens, a story in USA Today on 2/8/07 by Marilyn Elias talked about teens "coming out" earlier, feeling better about themselves, and feeling like there is more acceptance for homosexuality than in any other point in history. There are more than 3,200 gay/straight alliances in schools across the country, and many school counselors report working with students or parents around sexual orientation. Stories in the popular media about VP Cheney's daughter expecting a baby with her female partner, Ellen DeGeneres hosting the Oscars, Internet access, and frequent TV shows with gay or lesbian characters has helped to "normalize" the experience of youth coming to terms with their sexual orientation, but I fear "coming out" is far from a positive experience for many teens.

Teens coming out are still at risk. There are still hate crimes, very conservative regions, and people with families or religious values that cannot accept gay children. Some young gay teens leave home and most head for large cities, where they are likely to find support services and a sense of community. The more positive role models these kids have, the better chances they have of coming to terms with their sexual orientation as part of a fulfilling life path, not an obstacle.

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A New Online Safety Group

A recent story in the Palo Alto Daily News by Larry Magid reported the founding of a new Family Online Safety Institute to promote research and discussion about how to keep kids safe online. There is also a new Web site at the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children where parents can submit questions about Internet safety and computers that are answered by email by real-life experts.

If you have information about an Internet-related crime against a child - including child pornography - report it to the Cybertipline or call 1-800-843-5687.

Other resources include:
GetNetwise.org
Enough.org
Netsmartz.org
SafeKids.com
Safeteens.com

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Grand Rounds 3.21: Thank You

I would like to thank Jenni at ChronicBabe for hosting this week's sweet Grand Rounds 3.21 and including my post about sex and communication.

Happy Valentine's Day!

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Teens and Sexual Health

There was a great article called "The modern age generation confused: Cancer vaccines, birth control, emergency contraception -- with all these options, are teens any sexually healthier?" in the Sunday Chronicle (page CM-13) last Sunday by Heather Boerner.

Ms. Boerner did a great job with difficult issues - access to the Internet, the need for information, and the schizophrenia of our public policy. I loved her characterization of parents in the 21st century - our struggle between being open, honest, and fearful for our children's health and safety. There were also voices of teen girls in the story, giving the article credibility and an immediacy that should not be ignored. Our kids are at risk, but there are things we can do to protect them - including providing them with access to the new HPV vaccine.

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Suicide Risk and Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual (GLB) Youth

Every time I hear about a teen suicide that no one can explain, my heart breaks. You know the stories in the paper that report that a healthy, happy, athletic, beautiful, popular, and smart student has taken his (or her) own life and no one understands why. I always fear that the student had a secret that they believed would make them unlovable, and sadly, sometimes that secret is their sexual orientation.

The November 2006 issue of the Journal of Adolescent Health included an article about what protects GLB youth from suicide risk. The research suggested that gay, lesbian and bisexual (GLB) youth are particularly vulnerable to suicidaal feelings, although family connectedness, teacher caring, other adult caring, and school safety all protect youth from suicide attempts.

Data for the article came from the 2004 Minnesota Student Survey of 9th and 12th grade students in which 21,927 sexually active youth were grouped according to the gender of their sex partner(s) into GLB and non-GLB groups. Four protective factors and suicidal ideation and attempts were compared across groups. The results reported that:

• 2,255 respondents had same-gender experience;
• over half of GLB students had thought about suicide;
• and 37.4% reported a suicide attempt.

GLB youth reported significantly lower levels of each protective factor than their non-GLB peers, suggesting that suicidal ideation and attempts could be reduced if GLB youth perceived more support from their families and schools.

Do me a favor and tell your kids - in whatever way you can - that you love them unconditionally, and that you love them no matter what their sexual orientation is or will be. Be clear - say the words - "you know that I love you more than anything in the world, and that I would love you just as much if you were gay, lesbian, or bisexual, too!" Don't let your teens have a secret that could kill them!

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Contraceptive Use is Helping to Reduce Adolescent Pregnancy Rates

So sorry to say - it is not abstinence! The January 2007 issue of the American Journal of Public Health includes an article that reports the declining adolescent pregnancy rates in the United States between 1995 and 2002 were primarily due to improved contraception use. Okay, okay, there was some of the decline explained by the delay in initiation of sexual intercourse, but the majority of the decline is explained by improved contraceptive use.

The authors presents data from the National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG)which is a nationally representative household survey. The good news is the the adolescent pregnancy rates in the United States declined 27% from 1991 to 2000. In addition, the authors of this article found that 14% of the change in pregnancy risk among adolescents ages 15-19 was attributable to the decrease in the percentage of sexually active young women, while 86% was due to changes in contraceptive use, and all of the change in pregnancy risk among 18-19 year olds was the result of increased contraceptive use.

I do not know about you, but these findings raise some serious questions about the current US government policies that promote abstinence-only as the primary strategy to prevent teenage pregnancy!

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Oral and Dental Complications of Piercing

Keeping with the piercing theme, allow me to translate an article published in the Journal of Adolescent Health, during November 2006. Given the increasing popularity of oral piercing and a lack of research about it, several researchers studied 97 people with oral piercings in their tongue (n=45), lip (n=52), and cheek (n=1). The average age of their participants was about 20 and ranged between 13 and 35. These people had had their oral piercings for an average of 14 months.

The authors reported that 34% of the patients experienced complications including 23 with receding gums; 13 with fractured or chipped teeth; 14 with excess spit; 4 with bad breath; and 9 reported a metallic taste in their mouth. They also report that there appeared to be more damage from lip piercing than the other two forms or oral piercing, but caution against drawing too many conclusions from such a small sample.

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Teen Driving Risks, Guidance for Parents

We have every reason to worry about our teen drivers, but like most things, there are ways we can help protect them. Traffic crashes are the #1 killer of teenagers and 1 in 4 crash fatalities in the United States involves a 16- to 24- year old. The first six months after getting a license are the most dangerous time for any driver, and the risk stays high until the young driver becomes 25.

According to National Teen Driver Survey, of more than 5,600 high school students, representing the 10.6 million 9th, 10th, and 11th grade students in U.S. public high schools, high school students are driving under highly dangerous conditions on a routine basis. The survey results are available on a web site called "Keeping Young Drivers Safe." This Web site for parents and educators from the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia/State Farm alliance is packed with practical information on developing a plan that will enable new drivers to develop the skills and habits they need to stay safe. You'll find information on working with a new driver to set goals and rules; developing a timeline for parent-guided driving lessons; and developing a parent/teen driving agreement.

Here are a few highlights from the report:

• Teens say they routinely drive while fatigued;
• 48% report talking on cell phones while driving;
• 21% said they have driven without wearing seatbelts;
• 41% of the respondents reported having seen a peer driving under the influence;
• and 50% reported driving at least 10 miles over the speed limit at least sometimes.

Before you start teaching your teen how to drive, check this site out and talk about the dangers with your teens. Photo credit: cynroux

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It's a Whole New World: Relationships and Sex in the 21st Century

Information about Teen Sexual Behavior Let me first say, that although we were all teenagers once, our experience was so different than what our teens are experiencing today, that we cannot assume to know anything – and applying the way our parents parented us, or our experiences – is a wasted effort.

Today’s teens have access to more information about relationships and sex, and at younger ages, than we could ever have imagined. They are also better prepared to handle that level of information then we would have been. The world has changed – the Internet has brought the world to our kids before we are ready!

What kids are the most in need of – is us. Research study after research study documents the fact that teens nationwide are suffering from a lack of honest communication from their parents and other pivotal adults around them… They do not have the information they need about their bodies, and their hearts.

I know that is true because at the Palo Alto Medical Foundation we get more than 350 anonymous questions a month submitted on the We're Talking Teen Health web site – most are related to sexuality and relationships.

The good news is that research shows talking to kids about sexuality does not make them have sex earlier! In fact, it protects them from situations in which “sex just happens” and the consequences that follow, including sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy.

In addition, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) suggests:

• youth are having less intercourse;
• using more contraception, and
• that there was 30% less teen pregnancy between 1994 and 2004.

Now the bad news!

• Nationally, 63% of high school students have had sexual intercourse before they graduate from high school;
• The average age of first sexual intercourse, and first oral sex, is 15;
• 70% of teens say their first sexual experience was not planned;
• 80% of teen sex happens at home; and
• Only 60% of youth who are sexually active used a condom the last time they had sex.

What can we do?
Teens need to know that 66% of teens and 81% of 12 – 14 year olds regret their first sexual experience and adults need to make sure that teens have the knowledge and strength to “make good decisions.”

Parents being “in denial” will not help and it will undermine our relationships and make them superficial. Having an open relationship means that your kids tell you things! Sifting through their emails or reading a diary or blog is a major invasion of privacy and it will ruin your relationship. Do not do it!

Parents need to talk honestly with their children about sexual rights, pleasure, and risk. All teens need to know the danger signs of abusive relationships and that feeling all “tingly and floaty” does not mean they are in love – it means they are sexually excited.

Teens need to know that it feels good to be excited, but that sexuality should be protected, consensual and planned with someone they love or, it is not going to feel great, and there are life threatening consequences.

Take Home Messages From the Teens
Preparing for a recent talk I asked several teens what they hoped their parents would get from my talk, and these are some of the things they said:
FIRST, “Being open matters. The people I know who can tell their parents anything are much safer, and much smarter, than those whose parents are disapproving or just awkward.”

SECOND, “Please respect our relationships – we know we are not likely to marry our teen sweetheart, but what we are experiencing in our relationships is very real to us.” And I would like to add – the first time teens experience things – whether it is love or sex, - is likely to be the most intense – and one they remember forever – help them savor it – do not blow it off.

Initiating Good Communication
There are rules for good communication with your child on any subject. For example, it’s best to start early. Waiting until your child is 12 years old to discuss important issues is not a good idea. Kids are hearing about and forced to cope with tough issues, such as alcohol, drugs and peer pressure, at increasingly younger ages. There is a lot to discuss with your child about these complex topics, and the lessons should be gradual. Also, it’s important to tailor communication to the age of the child and add more information as your child grows. If you start communicating about everything when your child is 10, rather than beginning the conversations when he or she is younger, it may feel very intrusive to your child.

Initiate Conversations
Begin to have conversations with your child about a variety of topics. While some kids will ask you questions, others need you to start the conversation. This does not mean that you should start a conversation out of the blue; it means be aware of naturally occurring moments. For example, when something on TV or the radio mentions kissing, take the opportunity to ask your child what he or she knows about the topic, or if he or she has any questions. Listening to what the kids talk about in the car may provide other opportunities. Jump right in when you can.

Create an Open Environment
Children are constantly bombarded with images and messages through television, radio and the Internet. At no other time in history have children been exposed to so much information, and they need to know they can ask you anything. When they do ask you, ask what they really want to know, and answer as clearly and honestly as you can. Admit if you do not know something, and look for the answer together, or tell your child that you will find out the answer and let them know.

Communicate Your Own Values
Share your values with your children. Do not simply assume that they understand your family’s values just because they live in the same house. Clearly communicate what you believe in and explain why you have the values you do and why you encourage them to share your values.

Listen to Your Child
If you really listen, your children will feel more comfortable talking to you and coming to you with questions. They will know that their opinions and concerns are important because they have your undivided attention, and that you are committed to understanding their feelings and providing information.

Try to Be Honest
Whatever your children's age, they deserve honest answers; it strengthens their ability to trust. If you do not give them complete answers, they might make them up, which may be more frightening than the truth. Remember, the most difficult questions also give you a chance to communicate your values.

Be Patient
Let your child ask the whole question, and ask for the story that explains why he or she wants to know. This will help you give the correct answer without overwhelming them with too much information. In most cases, kids are not asking for the complex answer you might be tempted to give.

Talk About it Again and Again
If your child asks the same question several times, maybe over several days or weeks, be tolerant and give the answer, over and over again. Chances are good that your child is taking in some of the answer, processing it and then coming back for more information when they are ready. Persistence is a valuable character trait.

Ask for Feedback
Let a little time pass after an important conversation and then ask your child to tell you what he or she remembers from the conversation. Also ask what he or she understood, or thought you were saying. Try asking your child what you said -- the answer may surprise you. More importantly, it gives you an opportunity to repeat what you believe.

Resources
Web Sites
Talking with Kids About Tough Issues is a national campaign by Children Now and the Kaiser Family Foundation with tips, resources, and facts about sex, HIV & AIDS, violence and drugs.

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy seeks to improve the well-being of children, youth, and families by reducing teen pregnancy. The Campaign's goal is to reduce the teen pregnancy rate by one-third between 1996 and 2005.

Planned Parenthood is the world's largest and oldest voluntary family planning organization. Planned Parenthood is dedicated to the principles that every individual has a fundamental right to decide when or whether to have a child, and that every child should be wanted and loved.

Books
PAMF has a resource list on the preteen site.

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Piercing and Teens

Well parents, it is only a matter of time before you hear it - "Mom, Dad, can I get my [body part] pierced?"

Be prepared. The good news is that you can let a piercing grow together - a tattoo is forever. More good news - in California, people under 18 cannot get tattoos, even with parent permission. However, piercing is OK with parent permission, so when you hear the question, breathe, smile, and say, let me think about it.

Here is some of what you need to know.

How is it done?
A hollow needle is passed through the body part followed by the insertion of the body jewelry in the hole. A piercing gun should not be used because it crushes the tissues that are pierced and it cannot be properly sterilized.

How do the holes heal?
Skin heals after piercings by forming a layer of cells called epithelial cells along the inside of the piercing to protect the body from the foreign object. The epithelial cells form a tube-like layer of skin along the inside of the piercing. The process takes at least six to eight weeks, although most body piercings require at least six months to a year before the jewelry can be removed for any length of time without the risk of the hole closing.

After the epithelial layer has formed, the piercing may constrict around the jewelry. The epithelial layer can be easily torn or dislodged, so do not force the jewelry to rotate without first applying warm water. Once the epithelial cell layer forms, it must toughen and strengthen for up to a year before the piercing will become more flexible and relaxed around the jewelry.

Caring for the Piercing Site
First, make sure that your piercing is done with a sterile object (single use), and that jewelry inserted in the new piercing site is also sterile, to prevent bacteria and foreign objects from entering the body.

All new piercings produce a sticky white to off-white discharge that dries into a crusty formation around the openings of the piercings and on the jewelry). The area around the new piercing should be kept clean.

Do not touch the new piercing (unless cleaning it). Wash your hands with antibacterial soap before cleaning the piercing.

• Sea salt-water soaks are good to loosen up crusty formations. You can make salt water by adding 1/4 teaspoon of salt to 12 ounces of clean water.
• For piercings in your ear or around your face, avoid make-up and powders in that area during the healing process. Cover the pierced area with a tissue when applying hair spray.
• For body piercings, do not wear tight clothes.
• For navel piercing, do not wear large belts, stockings or body suits, and do not sleep on your stomach. Good air circulation is important for healing.
• Be careful where you swim. Avoid public pools and hot tubs until the piercing has healed.

Signs of Infection
If you experience pain that does not go away within a day or two, increased pain, unusual pain or swelling in the piercing site, if the area feels hot to the touch, or you see red lines starting from piercing, or see oozing, bleeding, pus, see your health care provider. Do not remove your jewelry. If the jewelry is removed, the openings of the piercing may close and trap the infection, which can create an abscess (a pus-filled, painful area).

Oral Piercing and Dental Health
No matter where you put pierced jewelry, you could have an infection or sensitivity. Piercings in the mouth have some specific additional risks, according to the American Dental Association.

Metal jewelry in the mouth can cause irritation to the soft tissue in the mouth, and it can cause the gums to recede due to constant irritation. Constant contact of the jewelry against the teeth can cause chipping and cracking of the teeth, and jewelry that comes unfastened can be a choking hazard.

Picking a studio - where to get it done?
I know it will be tough, but wouldn't you rather be there, than not? If you say yes to the piercing, have your teen research local piercing studios and select one based on these criteria:

• Is the shop clean, well-lighted, and licensed by the county?
• Does the studio have an autoclave used to sterilize equipment?
• Are needles used only once and thrown away?
• Is there a consent form and photo ID required?
• Does the piercer use gloves and wash his or her hands thoroughly between customers?

Then, make an appointment and go together. You will both need a photo ID and you can ask the piercer to go over the health issues before the piercing and the aftercare guidelines after the piercing.

I recently watched my eldest get her ears pierced at the Bulldog studio in San Jose, by a man named Jason who told us everything there was to know about protecting her health and had the patience of a saint. It was a family field trip that both my children will be talking about for a long time.

Resources:
We're Talking Teen Health, Palo Alto Medical Foundation
Bulldog Lifestyles Body Art Studio in San Jose, CA

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What Every Parent Should Know About School Involvement

PTOtoday.com had a great article recently about parent involvement. It suggested that building parent involvement with schools was the most important thing parent groups could do, and perhaps the most difficult. There are lots of reasons that parents say they are not more involved, including: 1) they do not have enough time; 2) they do not feel comfortable at school because of their age or limited English skills; and 3) their schedules will not allow time in school.

Parent groups can address each of those issues - encouraging all parents to give whatever they can, even an hour each month, doing something they can do from home, or in the evening or on the weekends, but those are not the only barriers. Maybe they just do not realize that it matters to the long term health of their children.

There are some compelling reasons why parents should be involved with schools, and a new book called "A new generation of evidence: The family is critical to student achievement," by Henderson & Berla sums it up -- when parents are involved in their childrens education at home, the children do better in school and go farther in school. Specifically,

• They get better grades;
• Score higher on tests;
• Attend school regularly;
• Have better social skills;
• Have a more positive attitude about school;
• Enjoy school more;
• Complete more of their homework;
• Are more involved in extracurricular activities; and
• Graduate more often.

It is never too late, but the earlier you start being involved with schools, the more pronounced the impact is on your children, and it matters that you are involved at each grade level. In high school if your teen does not really want you around their friends, join a committee and work with other parents. It also matters that both parents are involved - not just the moms - Dads matter!

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Labels: Parenting

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