The Skinny on Being Thin
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Tara Gidus, MS, RD, CSSD, LD/N
With the obesity epidemic we are facing in America, it is hard for some people to imagine being underweight. Many people who are thin, believe it or not, do not like to be called "skinny." Being labeled skinny can be just as offensive for someone who is thin as being called fat is to someone who is overweight. People who are underweight are viewed differently in our American society than people who are overweight. But don't assume that they are happy with their bodies or that they appreciate you telling them how "lucky" they are.
I have counseled many people on how to manage their weight, both overweight and underweight. I would much rather counsel someone who needs to lose 50 pounds than someone who is trying to gain 10. For someone who is underweight and is trying to gain weight, it is incredibly frustrating. You are probably thinking, "They can have some of my weight," but it is not that simple (and they don't appreciate you telling them that, either).
Weight gain is the opposite as weight loss, of course, and someone who wants to gain weight needs to eat more calories than they are taking in. In order for the weight to come on as muscle instead of fat, exercise is vital. Many underweight clients have told me that they just feel sick when faced with the notion of eating more calories because they feel like all they do is eat all day long. Exercise burns more calories, so balancing how much exercise to do with the right amount of calories for weight gain takes concentrated effort.
Be sensitive to all body shapes and sizes, and compliment someone on their achievements, not on their waistline.
Photo courtesy of istockphoto
Labels: Tara Gidus, underweight
27 Comments:
At Wed Mar 12, 03:26:00 PM 2008,
Anonymous said…
Thank you so much for talking about this subject! I have been underweight my whole life and have been called "disgusting" "a pencil" and "a twig" among other things. People don't realize how hurtful those comments are. Controlling my weight is very difficult and I would never make a comment like that to someone who is overweight. I'm tired of being told that I make people sick, I'm tired of being "offered" other people's excess weight. It's about time that someone stepped up and talked about weight discrimination from the other end of the spectrum.
At Sun Apr 13, 08:32:00 AM 2008,
Anonymous said…
THANK YOU all my friends call me twiggy and toothpick and make stupid remarks like "what do you think is skinnier her or this toothpick" but the thing is that i have a really fast metabolism and i'm in the track team at my high school so that makes it way harder for me to gain weight. people don make a big deal when people are tofat but when your skinny they make a huge deal,i would rather be under weight than overweight any day. but believe it or not i actually like it when people call me super skinny i take it as a compiment
At Wed May 28, 04:00:00 AM 2008,
calamito said…
I understand that it may be frustrating to those who are skinny and trying to gain weight, but people that the girl above me are ignorant. "people don't make a big deal when people are too fat but when your skinny they make a huge deal" - It's the opposite. I don't care who you are, where you live, or what college degree you have, if you are five lbs over weight, people will tell you. I have not ONCE seen someone at the huge highschool I go to get called names for being skinny, or even taunted a little. No one tells them they're thin, they tell them they have great bodies- explain how that would hurt someone's feelings? I got called an ugly pig at lunch b/c I got a brownie. It makes me so mad when thin pretty people come out and say it's so hard to be thin and pretty. "i would rather be under weight than overweight any day" said the girl above me.
of course she would - because it isn't hard to be a skinny person, at all. And it certainly isn't hard to gain weight. Eat junk food for a few days if you're that desperate!
At Tue Jul 01, 01:11:00 PM 2008,
Anonymous said…
I do agree that overweight people get made fun of a lot more, maybe not to their face but for sure behind their back. I have always been very thin and very active. Now that I have gotten older and have had a few children and still the same 103 with no stretch marks I get the rudest comments made about me. I either have some eating disorder or on drugs, blah, blah, blah. It isn't fun or easy to hear that all the time either. I might always have women tell me how much they hate me or are just plan rude because of how I look. I am proud of my body and feel blessed but I did work for it. So being skinny is not easy, people are so jelous they don't get to know you for who you are before they hate you. Maybe being made fun of isn't easy but try being hated by women because you are skinny.
At Mon Jul 28, 05:05:00 AM 2008,
kera said…
ok...
calamito. im a 15 year old, 90lbs girl who just cant seem to gain wait. I do eat like a pig and i try to eat as much junk food as possible. ive always been a thin girl. my freshman year i was 85 pounds... I'm starting my sophmore year in high school and I do get teased for being so skinny. I'm 5'1 so im a petite person, too. You don't realize that I've been made fun of being skinny all of my life; you think that skinny people just have it made. Most guys do like girls with a butt or girls with thighs on theyre body. I have meat on my bones, and a ver flat stomache, but im a size 00/23 in jeans and I wear an XXS in most stores. Its extremely difficult to buy jeans from hollister and make them tight. Pac Sun, KIDS Abercrombie and Forever 21 are the only places i can find jeans and not have to sell my dad's house. I also have no butt so guys rarely talk to me at school unless they are my friends. I dont have that much trouble with snagging a boyfriend, but my body doesnt help me at all. I do love my body, because im not stick thin, but i am a tiny girl and i want you to know that we DO in fact get teased daily. Just like 'fat' people do. Its not all perfect in our world...
At Wed Aug 06, 04:54:00 PM 2008,
Anonymous said…
I hate my body. I don't think I would have a problem with it if people would just stop the ignorant comments. I've been teased about being thin all my life. My mother who has been a size 5 since 9th grade has had the same problem. But I wish I did get to that size. I've never seen a size 1. Some may find this size to be lucky but I don't think so. I thank you all for sharing because it made me feel like I wasn't alone on this issue. And for that other comment, it just shows how ignorant people can be about the issue. How can you tell someone what to do when you have never experienced the issue? And yes you may be considered "fat" but how does that make you feel when someone says that about you??? Imagine how we feel being called "skinny"...a word looked at so negatively in the communities...especially African American communities....where but and hips are desirable.
At Mon Aug 11, 05:46:00 PM 2008,
JustinM26 said…
making a statement that bothers me. Its actually because of this that i feel self concious about it. Alot of the times I just beat people to the punch and try and make a comment about it before they do , do a fake chuckle, side eye roll and move on. I guess I just wish I could find out how to not let it get to me so bad.
At Thu Sep 18, 04:02:00 PM 2008,
Anonymous said…
I think that women of both extremes deal with a lot of pressure and angst. I have heavier friends and they are treated worse in public situations (like people just being rude to them or giving them the stink eye when they order food)... I think skinny girls are respected more in general public but I also think that we are treated like crap - mostly by our peers. Our school mates, family members, friends. It's mostly my family and friends that think I'm some kind of skinny anorexic freak that doesn't eat. I DO eat. I tried gaining weight once by eating a lot (apparently of the wrong kinds of food) - all I gained was gallstones. I'm so tired of people thinking it's cool to call skinny girls twigs or toothpics. That's like calling a fat girl a butterball or a cow. NOT COOL AT ALL. Reducing women to objects is NEVER cool - I don't care if you refer to someone as a washboard/ironing board or a butterball, it's all the same and it's all wrong. The point is - we are all picked on for something, what makes us our best is when we don't let it get us down too much.
At Mon Dec 08, 05:23:00 PM 2008,
Naquanta said…
Well I'm glad someone said something where I'm from bein skinny is like ugh. An in order to get any type of attention you need to have the big booty and the wide hips and I weight 110 and barely have anything an it can get sorrowful sometimes but in the end I hope I can love who I am and be happy with me because that's what we all want!
At Wed Dec 17, 02:51:00 PM 2008,
Anonymous said…
Try being a skinny guy in high school. All the girls want the bigger guys with big muscles and then the other guys make fun of you for being skin. Try being 110 lbs and 5'6 when you are 15.
At Tue Dec 30, 12:08:00 AM 2008,
Anonymous said…
I agree!!! People are cruel, regardless of if you are under or overweight. i'm a tall girl, but am very thin. I have a hard time keeping weight, and am cponstantly owrking to gain/keep weight, i'm currently 95 pounds, up from 80-but i still get comments about how thin i am all the time, and never in a positive way. just last week, i had a clerk at the grocery store ask me if i was anorexic or something-totaly out of the blue!! she just kept going on and on about it, it was not the first time it had happened-i get snide, mean, and cruel comments from perfect strangers, peopel at school, even family-it's awful. i work to gain weight, but people assume that i must work to keep myself thin through anorexia or something. you know-it seems dramatic and almost mean-but i have gotten fed up. the last time it happened, i was at work and a client told me i needed to eat one of meals to get some meat over my skeleton, i then looked at her and "informed" her that i had cancer. it wasnt true, but i can garuntee she will think twice about making thoughtless comments like that again.
At Mon Jan 26, 04:55:00 PM 2009,
Anonymous said…
I have rounded out a bit, but as a skinny child, teen and twenty something I got ridiculed pretty constantly. It's not easy for a guy either. Nothing quite like having some jock laughingly wrap his fingers around your neck or wrists, or be prejudged as a speed freak by a parent, or to listen sympathetically as some overweight woman complains about how unfair she's been treated, only to have her look through you as soon as some buffed guy walks in the room.
At Mon Feb 16, 09:55:00 PM 2009,
Anonymous said…
I'm so glad to have read this.
I'm 23, 5'3" and my weight varies between 85-90lbs. I have ALWAYS been teased and insulted for being so skinny. I've always hated my body and have been so ashamed. I finally realized that I am happy with who I am. It's the way God made me and I'm healthy and happy.
It's frustrating because people assume you have some sort of problem. I'll admit, I don't pig out, but I eat just as much as my friends who gain or keep a steady weight.
It's nice to know there are others out there. I've started to just brush people off if they say something and not let it bother me. It's just not worth it. :)
At Fri Feb 20, 06:21:00 PM 2009,
Pippa said…
yeah i totally agree. I have been super skinny all the time too. Its horrible cos people are always looking at you making you really self concious. To be honest its harder for you because you fit into hardly any clothes. So its a real struggle. I have tried SO hard to put on weight. I went to the doctors and everything. To the girl with the negative response: that is a load of bull okay? trust me. eating junk food does nothing. I hate it and im really unhappy with my body weight. I would much rather be slightly over weight than underweight. My best friend is always 'giving me her weight' and then teasing me because i have no body. It really gets me down. Which is stupid. Something should be said and more help offered.
At Sat Mar 07, 09:22:00 AM 2009,
QT said…
I'm 23, 5ft 9" and barely 120lbs. By the BMI I'm way underweight for my height. Ppl recognize that calling a chubby/ fat person 'fat' is a major insult, however no one realises that calling an underweight girl 'skinny', 'meager' broomstick' is just as bad. Persons just don't hold back at all when it comes to teasing a skinny person, maybe its just their own cruel way of making them selves feel better about their weight. I've tried everything from eating things high in protein, calories, fats, sweets, but NOTHING works. I've even stopped exercising to see if anything would happen. I'm afraid to do certain sports because it might make me look tough and muscular instead of feminine. At least fat ppl always have several options advertised like diets, exercise routines, pills, even surgery etc etc. But no one gives a hoot about underweight ppl. Small butt, small boobs, jutting bones instead of shapely curves is NOT SEXY.
At Mon Apr 06, 10:29:00 PM 2009,
Anonymous said…
I absolutely hate being poked and prodded at for being petite. Some people think I don't eat or I'm anorexic or something. I am 21 and 5'2 and 95 pounds and it is hard for me to gain weight, and believe me I eat a whole lot. Most insults come from people who are very fat so it's ironic. Sometimes it gets to me. I would like to gain a little more weight.
At Wed May 13, 10:30:00 AM 2009,
maix said…
I really appreciate your sympathy regarding this issue. I myself have been a victim of these hurtful criticisms. I have been underweight my whole life. It is really hard for me to gain weight even just for a few pounds. There was a time in my life where I gained almost 8 pounds (my biggest gain ever) and was bordering to reach my IBW, but it just lasted for 1-2 months and I'm back from being skinny again. Some would praise my physique and of course some would not. Good thing no one had ever accused me as an anorexic (no harm intended) maybe because of the fact that people who knew me knows I'm skinny my whole life. For me it's unfair that skinny people are prejudged as an anorexic. I sometimes find myself defending my type of physique in some degrading websites or videos about skinny people. This generalization really saddens me because there is really such thing as "naturally skinny", ok? Believe me, I want to gain weight and I have taken measures to see if there’s something more, more than fast metabolism and genes. Hyperthyroidism, etc, etc. And yes even deworming, but all came out negative. I’ve done every test!! My body’s functioning is in a normal state. It’s just my bloody genes and metabolism. And you’re right it can be frustrating. Just a thing though, in our place skinny is less discriminating for us than being called out straight thin.
At Wed Jun 03, 06:05:00 PM 2009,
Anonymous said…
im a 31 year old male from the uk ive been underweight all my life & i have never seen anywhere i can get help for being underweight i hate when all i see is diets and treatments for the overweight but nothing for us underweight. Infact the article you have wrote is about the most indepth information on the net ive found that is relevant to being undrweight!
I'D LOVE TO PUT ON WEIGHT HELP ME!!!
At Fri Jun 26, 10:12:00 AM 2009,
Anonymous said…
I appreciate someone finally addressing my side of the argument. I am so tired of people telling me "I wish I had your problem." and "Here, have some of mine." If I try to talk to someone about how difficult it is to gain weight they just write it off as nothing. Even if I tell them how I attempt to eat enough to compensate for all the exercise and still gain weight, they still scoff at me. I understand that overweight people do have it worse than thin people, but we still have problems too. I've been picked on for being skinny and "not eating" or "eating like a bird" when in fact I do eat. At least I now know others share my frustration.
At Sun Jul 05, 09:53:00 PM 2009,
Anonymous said…
i have to agree with Kera, i am 24 years old. im only 5'0" and weigh 86.6 lbs since the age of 12. im not gonna grow anymore. i eat junk food all day long non stop and still can not gain weight. it is hard for skinny people to find clothes that actually fit and people dont believe me. i still have to go to the kids section and sometimes i still cant find clothes to fit properly. its hard being overweight i do imagine that but overweight people needs to realize that its hard being skinny and petite also.
At Wed Jul 08, 10:10:00 PM 2009,
Anonymous said…
Try being 40 kilos only when you're 26 years old & having a twin sister double your weight :) we're the funniest looking twins ever :)
At Sat Jul 11, 08:19:00 PM 2009,
Anonymous said…
I too, can not stand the rude comments!! I have been called sticks, twiggy, etc... For a time, I would not wear shorts or dresses because my legs/calfs are so skinny.
Just the other day a lady came up to me out of the blue at work and told me I looked soooo skinny and frowned then started to pat my back. (of course I was wearing a skirt) I looked right at her and told her to deal with it.
I'm small framed, 5'3, 106/110 lbs. Where do people get off acting like this!
How do you respond to such a rude comment!?!
At Wed Jul 15, 06:56:00 AM 2009,
Anonymous said…
I am 5'6 120 and some people may say oh that is the perfect size and it is not..I have been skinny my whole life and I hate when people call me skinny..I do get a lot of compliments on my body but that doesnt helps..becuz just as many compliments I get the more ignorant comments I get...I hate when people use the word skinny and I am so insecure about my weight..when people call me skinny anf they are actually complimenting me..I snap at them and explain to them that skinn is a derogatory term...I explain if they want to compliment me use a different word like slim..No wants to be called skinny or fat...I hate when I go get my nails done and the chinese woman tell me u too skinny..lol..I bark on them..I just want to gain like 10 to 15 pounds..Can somebody help me
At Tue Jul 21, 03:18:00 PM 2009,
R said…
I would like to take a moment to thank the person who thought of releasing this article. I am 6-3, 145 lbs - but 100% of that is strong muscle. However, for the last 20+ years (being 42), I have been: eating like a horse and watching my grocery bill soar, as eating healthy 'costs'; searching endlessly, every clothing outlet for clothing that fits the 'non-a typical' physique; and listening to one 'unintentional' insult to injury - over how lucky I am... want some of this ... here eat more you need it - comments.
After 1000's of dollars spent on weight gain supplements and the like, I wonder if we face the same health risks; and complications, as someone who is overweight and within high cholesterol? If the normal was the middle, and either end of the 'fit' scale was considered life-threateningly unhealthy, than perhaps being too thin also contributes to such conditions as: arthritis, cardiac complications, sleep disorders, stress, anxiety, and eventually an 'unbalanced metabolism' due to an ongoing issue of improper nutritional requirements.
Think about it for a moment. If your sleep is critical to rebuilding the body and mentality (recovery), then if someone is too thin and is not being supported sufficiently on 'standard mattresses', then sleep is lost, which interferes with timing of eating, leading to quicker more unhealthy choices. Over time as the nutritian works against the physiology, long term (seemingly unrelated) issues of improper nutitian complicate health, the ability to rebuild and ultimately, the inability to build out from a good base. After the physiology remains in a deficient state for long enough, it becomes just as hard to reverse the process, because it (in some people) would take just as long to repair and reverse the issue back to something normal - then from that point - you would be in a position to build out. So for example, live for 15 years of your life as a thin person who has no idea (until learning of it) that this condition existed. Once learned, it then takes 10 years to reverse the condition back to where his/her physiology recovers to 'normal', then from that point, taking another 5 years (realistically) to build a better body than he/she has.
This of course attaches the physiological condition of chronic thinness and is not meant to attach to someone who has a normal physiology. Now examine how most overweight persons, take a very long time on a program to truly return their bodies back to what they originally had .. and work hard to keep it that way. But they do .. and they have the support programs out there to help them .. but why not for us thinner people who may need similar help, for perhaps the same health reasons.
At Tue Sep 08, 11:54:00 AM 2009,
Anonymous said…
It's really sad that people think it's appropriate to comment about anyone's body- fat, thin, or in-between. We need to stop judging each other so harshly, and let go of the idea that there is a single ideal that people are supposed to be held to. No one should ever be made to feel terrible because of their appearance. You are not your figure, what guys like irrelevant- be you, for you, and find joy in it.
At Mon Sep 21, 11:00:00 AM 2009,
cri said…
thank you for this post. There's a lot of truth spoken in the comments too, and I find myself in many of them. Yes, ironically, it's overweight people that make the rudest and more ignorant comments, though they should realize we both actually have the same problem - only at the opposite side of the spectrum. We're both dealing with weight issues, and the adjacent health problems. yes, on the aesthetical side overweight people are treated harsher - because of the association between certain appearances with certain psychological/moral traits. They are (mistakenly) associated with greedy, gluttonous and selfish characters, with poor self control, while the skinny are seen as detached, humble, calculated or rigorous. It's a shallow way to think - and I pity the ones that are so simple minded. But the aesthetics is the least important here. Dealing with bad bone condition, low muscle tone, anxiety, hair loss, anemia, hormone imbalances, being threatened by infertility, osteoporosis, fractures, tooth decay, organ failures, and knowing that you might not be strong enough to survive a severe medical condition or accident is definitely no thing to be ignorant about. Unthoughtful comments like ”here, have some of my fat” or ”have you considered eating?” are not funny at all. It always makes me feel desperate and remind me of my failure to keep a normal weight. And people like calamito who throw comments like ”eat junk food if you're desperate” should spare me their gratuitous advice. I won't ruin my health for the sake of those desired kilograms. Do you even know how harmful junk food or fats can be to an already weakened body? It's as stupid as telling an overweight person to stop eating anything for a whole month.
At Thu Oct 29, 07:53:00 PM 2009,
stressed mom said…
I am also underweight. I am 29 years old and have had 3 wonderful children but I am only 80LBS. I could not keep any of the weight on after each child birth I actually weighed less and less. No doctor has been able to find anything wrong to cause this but it also causes me to have low low blood pressure. So much so it was not safe for me to bear any more children and I had to get my tubes tied. I have been teased all my life including extended family. To this day they try to say I am unhealthy and I have something wrong with me but I have no more health problems than anyone else.
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